Talk:Gender inequality in Honduras

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Untitled

I made various grammar and punctuation changes, but here are some suggestions in revising the article:

In the “Empowerment” section the sentence, “Greater disparity comes when you look at the transition from education to the workplace” doesn’t seem to fit. Also, the sentence following it could use some rewording.

The last part of the empowerment section starting with, “This response suggests…” sounds a little bias. Maybe reword and add a citation.

In “Economic Activity,” the sentence, “This is yet another indicator that Gender inequality is lower in economic indicators” could be reworked.

“Labor Force Participation” needs citations.

“Distribution of Wealth by Gender” needs citations when talking about the ownership of goods.

In “Education Attainment of Women in Honduras,” cite the organization’s name instead of the website.

You may want to make Labor Force Participation a subsection of Economic Activity.

Nelson Gladwell (talk) 04:33, 18 April 2013 (UTC)

Hey, I will also be editing/reviewing your post. Are there any areas you would like me to focus on? Jumpinjad (talk) 21:08, 18 April 2013 (UTC)

Revisions

Hey, starting with your reference list: it is in two different formats and it looks like one was copy/pasted from Word. The first six are not full citations and look to be footnotes possibly. Next, adding a section of “See Also” would be nice because it could provide links to other Honduras-specific pages. The lead article begins with a few sentences that are not cited and could be perceived as biased. I made a few grammatical edits to this section also. There could also be more in-text links for people who do not have background knowledge on this topic. For example, creating a link for the “2011 Human Development Report” would help. The last sentence in the lead paragraph should be cited for sure. A link to the United Nations Development Report (UNDP) is needed. In the “Reproductive Health” section, there needs to be citations to the reports where the data exists. In the “Educational Attainment of Women in Honduras” section, all of the statistics need to also be attributed. Much of the information in these sections (even if it seems common-knowledge) needs to be cited in order for it to have an encyclopedic tone. In addition to these smaller things, adding some historical information of Honduras including references to Mayan civilization and Western influences would be helpful before jumping directly into discussion of the Gender Inequality Index. You mentioned traditions from ancestors in your lead paragraph but it was not discussed much. Let me know if you want me to look over anything else. Jumpinjad (talk) 22:32, 19 April 2013 (UTC)

Feedback

This article is informative, touching on basic aspects of gender inequality in Honduras, but it is rather brief. I agree with the suggestions for revision indicated above (and please fix the references). In addition, a correction in your lead paragraph: GII of 1 indicates perfect *inequality.* And the number of countries that have GII are only 146, should indicate that. The wealth ownership discussion is good but "This is a table showing the ration of ownership." is unclear. It should say "The distribution of asset ownership by gender is as follows:" Does the source you use discuss any correlates of asset ownership, e.g. decision making in the household? domestic violence incidence? If so, you should elaborate those. If not, including discussion on those topics would be useful. The section on Labor Force participation is rather limited, does not include much info on agricultural activity, wage employment and wage inequality issues. It would be good to provide more depth there and in other sections from a few additional key sources. BerikG (talk) 05:31, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

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