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Triangular Theory of Love explains love by combining three different components commitment, intimacy and passion. Robert Sternberg's theory was introduced in 1988. [1] where it includes the interplay between three different components of love
three different components commitment, intimacy and passion
According to Sternberg, these elements come together in different combinations to create various forms of love, shedding light on relationship dynamics, emotional ties, and human behavior. This article presents a comprehensive analysis of Sternberg's theory, its elements, the resulting categories of love, and how it can be used to better understand human relationships.
The three components of the theory are as follows:
Intimacy
Intimacy is a solely platonic feeling where there is a sense of familiarity when spending time with family and friends which you get along and feel relaxed. it encompasses feelings of closeness and trust. It develops through self-disclosure- a process in which people reveal personal aspects of their lives, deepening a feeling in which helps to create a the feeling of being at ease.[2]
Passion
Passion refers to the drive that leads to romance and the motivational component of love, which includes intense emotions and physical attraction. The passion component often appears in the early stage of the relationship as is marked by excitement and longing. Although passion develops quickly, but it could diminish overtime without the reinforcement of intimacy and commitment, which leads to dissolution of relationship[2]
Commitment
Sternberg defines commitment component of love as “in the short term, the decision that one loves someone else, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love.” He emphasized that commitment develops gradually and is influenced by the satisfaction derived from the relationship, the perceived quality of alternatives, and the investments made. Studies such as Rusbult et al.'s (1998) investment model highlight how commitment predicts relationship persistence and satisfaction. Commitment is also influenced by cultural and personal values and forms long-term bonds in different ways.[2]
There is several influences that shaped Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love.
Firstly, John Lee proposed the theory of “Colour wheel theory of love ” model where he categorized love into different primary styles including Eros which defines romantic and passionate love and Storge which defines friendship based love. His theory aligns with Sternberg’s triangular model to classify and analyze these styles within the dimensions of intimacy, passion and intimacy. For example, eros correlates with passion and storge with intimacy showing how lee’s theory influenced the depth of Sternberg’s theory.[3]
Secondly, Zick Rubin’s romantic love scale was focused on measuring love as a distinct psychological phenomenon by separating from mere liking or affection. By developing a scale using attachment, caring and intimacy these components. Rubin’s concept correlates with Sternberg’s emotional component as attachment aligns with the cognitive aspects of commitment. This love scale provided empirical support and paved the way for Sternberg to refine these ideas within a triangular framework, proposing a broader classification system for love dynamics.[4]
Finally, John Bowlby’s attachment theory indirectly influenced Sternberg’s theory, with the focus on how emotion bonds are form such as avoidant and anxious attachment links to the theory of intimacy and commitment aspects of Sternberg’s framework.
As there is different components of love, Sternberg proposed that there is different combinations of the three components.
Seven distinct types of love experiences are created by the interaction of the three elements, which are represented by the vertices of a triangle.
Non love is when there is none of the components are present and the interactions are causal where emotional and romantic elements are absent. [5]
Liking is where there is passion or commitment mainly found in close friendship if the individual share trust but lack romantic or physical attraction [5]
Infatuated love is characterized solely by enthusiasm. It signifies a strong physical and emotional pull towards someone else, yet it does not involve a profound emotional bond or lasting commitment. Infatuation is frequently temporary and linked to the initial phases of romantic relationships.[5]
Empty love is defined by devotion lacking closeness or fervor. This type is usual in arranged marriages of long-term relationships that have lost emotional and physical intimacy but stay intact because of external obligations or choices. [5]
Romantic love merges closeness and desire while lacking commitment. In the early stages of a relationship, it is common for emotional bonds and physical allure to be robust, even though future intentions or obligations remain unestablished. [5]
Companionate love combines intimacy and commitment but excludes passion. It commonly occurs in long-term partnerships or intimate family ties where emotional connections are robust but physical attraction has weakened over time. [5]
Combinations of intimacy , passion and commitment
intimacy
passion
commitment
non love
liking
x
infatuated love
x
empty love
x
romantic love
x
x
companionate love
x
x
fatuous love
x
x
consummate love
x
x
x
Fatuous love merges passion and commitment but lacks intimacy. It frequently arises from fast-paced romances where physical allure propels the relationship quickly, yet emotional bonding is still immature. [5]
Consummate love represents the perfect type of love, incorporating all three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. It is theorised to be that associated with the “perfect couple” It signifies a harmonious and comprehensive connection. Nonetheless, sustaining complete love demands regular effort, communication, and emotional commitment. [5]
In addition to highlighting the differences and parallels between friendship and romantic love, Sternberg's theory also emphasises how the proportions of intimacy, passion, and commitment differ in these two types of relationships. Passion is frequently a defining element of romantic love, promoting exclusivity and physical attraction. Commitment, which guarantees stability and sustained dedication, and intimacy, which promotes emotional connection, are complementary to this. [6]
A friendship, on the other hand, usually lacks the emotional and physical intensity associated with passion but is characterised by intimacy, trust, understanding, and shared experiences. Although friendships do have commitment, it is frequently implicit and less formalised than in romantic partnerships.[6]
Davis (1985) introduced the "passion cluster" and "caring cluster" to further differentiate these relationships. The passion cluster, which includes fascination, exclusiveness, and sexual desire, is central to romantic relationships. In contrast, the caring cluster, defined by extreme sacrifice and advocacy, can be present in both friendships and romantic love, reflecting a shared capacity for profound emotional investment.[7]
Emotional bonding and intimacy: Intimacy involves parts of the brain like the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) and the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC). These domains are linked to self-awareness, empathy, and emotional control all of which are essential for building intimacy and trust[8]
The human brainThe brain's reward and pleasure centers, especially the caudate nucleus and the ventral tegmental area (VTA), are intimately associated with passion and physical attraction. These areas have high levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that fuels the motivation, excitement, and euphoria connected to attraction and infatuation.[9]
Commitment and Long-Term Bonding: Commitment stimulates areas of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (dlPFC) and posterior superior temporal sulcus (pSTS), which are linked to long-term planning and decision-making. These domains assist people in maintaining long-term objectives and assessing their relationship investments. [10]
Sternberg's theory offers a framework for analysing why relationships succeed or fail in a daily life setting
Counselling and therapies help to identify the imbalances in a relationship. They can help couples move toward more fulfilling and healthy relationships by addressing deficiencies in one or more of the components. Interventions could, for instance, concentrate on rekindling passion through shared activities and new experiences or cultivating intimacy through enhanced communication.[11]
Cross cultural perspectives as this theory is being studied in a diverse context, by highlighting norms it helps with influencing on each love component. In some countries, arrange marriage may exhibit empty love but evolve into companionate love as intimacy develops over time. This cultural adaptability underscores the theory’s relevance across different relationship traditions and structures [12]
School and workshops often have education programs on emotional intelligence which incorporate the triangular theory to teach individuals about the dynamics of love. By understanding the interplay of intimacy, passion, and commitment, students can develop healthier expectations and skills for navigating relationships. These programs are increasingly used in schools, workplaces, and community settings.
Although Strenberg’s theory has been widely acclaimed it does have it’s critiques
Critics argue that love may not be simple as he initially laid it out to be . love is shaped by biological, psychological, and social elements that go beyond this framework. For example, cultural practices and individual beliefs significantly influence relationships, aspects that Sternberg’s model might not entirely capture.
Sternberg measured his theory on couples who were roughly the same age (mean age of 28) and whose relationship duration was roughly the same (4 to 5 years). His sample size was limited in characteristic variety. M.Acker and Mark.H.Davis announced this issue as being one of three major problems with Sternberg's theory. Romantic love, in particular, is not often the same in undergraduate level couples as couples who are not undergraduates. Acker and Davis studied a sample that was older than Sternberg's sample of undergraduates.[13]
Sternberg disregarded the awareness and maturity elements in love, he neglected the development of the adult ‘love’ framework. When we think about the adult "affection" narrative as the remembered childhood “affection” storytelling to the first beloved by depending on Psychoanalytic methods seem to completely overlook the cognitive transformations between the stages of childhood and adulthood. [14]
Each person's perception of the depth and progress of their relationship is reflected in these "real" triangles. Each person's ideal partner or relationship attributes are represented by the "ideal" triangles. The "perceived" triangles represent each person's perception of how their partner perceives their relationship. A person's dissatisfaction is likely to rise if any of these three distinct triangles do not resemble their partner's triangles. [15]
Sternberg’s model struggles to define consensually non-monogamous (CNM) or polyamorous relationships. CNM is considered to be called “open relationships” where two people is engaging in a romantic relationship but does not have sex exclusively with each other. Polyamorous relationships is when the relationship involve more than one person. For example, three people are in an equally commitment relationship of love. [2]
