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This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.
Note: This listing is not to toot my own horn, it just makes finding pages I've edited a little easier for myself. Please use the Discussion page if you have anything to say to me.
Hockeyman001 is an amateur ice hockey and baseball player who occasionally edits Wikipedia.
As a hockey player, his playing style was often compared to that of former NHL player John LeClair when he was in his athletic prime - elite shot, OK skating, sound positionally, "silky mitts," and good near the net. Minor knee injuries plagued him early on in his career, and thus his skating skills never developed to the point of his shooting, passing, and stickhandling skills. In more recent years, he's often compared to Vladimir Tarasenko. His elite wristshot has earned the praise of more than one former NHLer*, and rumor has it that when he hits the post or crossbar, the Liberty Bell cracks just a tiny bit more from the sound, no matter how far. He was a good scorer throughout his career - when he could keep up with the play. He was the winner of the 2003 Hardest Wrist Shot competition and the 2004 Accuracy Shooting competition on his high school team, destroying the most styrofoam plate _targets taped to the net by his coach and teammates in the least amount of time. And, perhaps most importantly, he's dropped some filthy chirps over the years, and he's never walked on the logo. He's also worn the C and the A, but never the number 69...because that's just lame.
As a baseball hitter, he was a feared hitter with a powerful swing...compared in his prime to Manny Ramirez. Known to launch long fly balls as a boy that often interrupted other recreational activities that commonly took place on the outfields of public parks, the right handed slugger could also hit for average most of his career. While prone to striking out, he possessed an excellent batting eye that he used to get on base. This was never more on display than when, at 8 years old, he became one of only a few hundred humans in recorded history to have ever drawn a walk off a pitching machine. Clearly, his eye was superior...or the pitching machine was afraid to throw him a strike. By his teenage years, the long fly balls were no longer interrupting other recreational activities in outfields as many were sailing over fences on the fields that had them. However, on fenceless fields, they continued to be a source of frustration for nearby picnickers, and a source of exercise for the legs of outfielders tasked with retrieving the ball. When taking batting practice on public fields, even on a crowded day, he was known to attract a crowd of interested onlookers who, even in busy urban settings, would stop walking their dogs, jogging, playing with their kids, and *gasp* even put their phones down to watch him. One of his most memorable hits came in 1998, a second inning grand slam home run in his school's Sixth Grade Series that helped clinch victory for his class. He later experimented with switch hitting (batting from both sides of the plate, not bisexuality...since we are talking baseball here) at times in practice, and only once in a game - in 2003. Initially a contact hitter as a left-handed hitter, he developed some power, but became strikeout prone from that side of the plate, and ultimately scrapped the idea when this was coupled with his free swinging tendencies as a lefty. Since retiring, his right handed swing has retained much of the power, but the high quality contact abilities of his prime have faded. He still bats recreationally in cages and public fields throughout the country from time to time, attracting small crowds when he does manage to square one up properly and send it soaring up up and away...although that is far less common than it used to be. He now mostly plays adult softball, since unfortunately at his age, almost no one plays baseball anymore unless they're getting paid to.
He initially retired from sports in 2007, citing the high costs of ice time (hockey) and a lack of playable fields (baseball). Coincidentally, later that same year, he began editing Wikipedia. He has resumed playing recreationally since, as both aforementioned hurdles have been overcome.
He is well regarded in some circles for his humor and edits although he prefers to avoid the spotlight of public fame, and therefore has somewhat controversially denounced Twitter over the years (but then who hasn't?), and renounced Facebook. An avid scholar of 20th Century world history, his intellectual pursuits involve mainly spreading awareness about the evils of socialism, Communism, and Nazism, and conveying the idea that history helps you understand current events and the perils of today's choices in a way that literally nothing else can.
Besides hockey and baseball, he also enjoys other sports such as skiing, tennis, hiking, paintball, and running. He's also savvy about world cuisine and is an amateur homebrewer. He's not, however, a good cook...unless you count the barbecue grill. He still enjoys ice skating (even when not playing hockey). He has moved on from big city life finding it increasingly overpopulated and miserable, although he'll visit European cities because they're fun to stay in for a week or so. He thinks the world's worst invention is government bureaucracy; it's second worst is public transit - and he prefers to avoid both these days. He now passes his non-sports playing days enjoying woodworking, small towns, Americana, and the scenery of his town and county. He also has an eclectic music taste (although "21st century pop" does not qualify as "music"), and a refined palette to appreciate food and drink the world over. He enjoys philanthropy when he is able and supports several causes listed below that you should too.
Pay off your debt as fast as possible... Constantly in debt to corporate overlords is no way to go through life, and it will prevent you from enjoying yourself. Just because you may live in a first world country doesn't mean that if you work all the time and never get to enjoy the fruits of your labor, it's somehow different than where that link took you.
Pursue the things you love and befriend the people you meet along the way. Prioritize those with common values and purpose for the most meaningful friendships.
Make more romance... Single people: When you meet a great girl/guy, stop being a creep/playing games and invite them to join you on something you both like, while making it clear your interest "might" be romantic (but not definitely...that's creepy). Stop with this "maybe friends (and I'll ask you out later)" stuff; it confuses the other person and makes you look like a wuss or a liar. If they say no to your advance, thank them for saving you weeks, months, or years of wasted time and effort, and move on. Unless you're over 75, there are almost 1 billion other people on this planet of your desired gender in an acceptable age range for you to consider. And even then, there are plenty. If you're already dating someone that sucks, move on. You (yes, even you) can do better.
Married people: Unless abuse is involved (in which case go to the cops, not Wikipedia), take Stephen Stills' advice. If that's too old fashioned for you, then listen to Blink-182. Oh, and do something fun together tonight. Not tomorrow. Tonight.
Don't forget to give back
Because nothing will make you happier, and nothing will make God happier.
If you can do these simple things, get a decent paying job, take care of your body, and not do any really dumb stuff with your money, you'll win at life. Imagine that...the secret to life and you found it hidden here on this little corner of the internet. It's your lucky day. But don't buy a lottery ticket, cuz that's "really dumb stuff with your money."
United States
