Background narrator
Special. Hut!
Narrator
What's it like to become one of football's cowgirls? Debbie Does Dallas has all the answers.
DEBBIE
DOES
DALLAS
Bambi Woods
Hi. My name is Bambi Woods, and it's interesting that I was chosen for this part in this movie, because in real life I was a Dallas Cowgirl. In this film, though, my name is Debbie Benson. The story is completely fictional, but could have really happened with a little help from my friends.
Girl
I can't believe it's fall, girls.
Tammy
Debbie, I'm so proud of you.
Lisa
I've got a great idea. Why don't we all work hard to raise money so we can go to Texas with her?
Cheerleaders
Yeah! Yeah! Let's! That's a great idea!
Annie
Debbie, we could boost your morale!
Debbie
You know, we should form a company and give ourselves a name.
Lisa
Like Teen Services?
TEEN
SERVICES!
Annie
Yeah, that's us!
Tammy
Hi. I saw your sign in the window, and I'm here to apply for the job.
Roberta
We're looking for any kind of work to raise money for our trip to Texas.
Mr. Greenfeld
You've got the job. You've got the job, Debbie.
Debbie
Do you really mean it?
Donna
Good afternoon, Mr. Biddle.
Mr. Biddle
Why, hello, Donna. How are you today?
Donna
Fine, sir.
Narrator
Teen Services soon picked up new tricks.
Mr. Biddle
Lovely day, isn't it, Donna?
Donna
Yes, it is, Mr. Biddle.
Mr. Greenfeld
I'll give you ten dollars if you let me look at your tits!
Debbie
Mr. Greenfeld!
Mr. Greenfeld
Please!
Debbie
Well, would you give me twenty dollars for that?
Debbie
Hey, count this.
Tammy
Goodness, Debbie.
Annie
What are you doing that we're not?
Debbie
This, my dear ladies.
Tammy
Debbie, what are you saying?
Debbie
Well, this is what they want.
Cindy
You mean all you do is shake your tits and you make all that money?
Donna
We've added on a few new services, you know.
Mr. Biddle
Oh, what are they?
Cindy
Well, Mr. Bradly, we're not just washing cars anymore.
Nick
You mean you'll do anything I like?
Tammy
Not anything.
Mr. Greenfeld
I'll give you another ten dollars. Just let me suck them, please. Just a little suck on each one. Please? Okay?
Narrator
Debbie's heading for the big score, and she's betting on Dallas.
DEBBIE
DOES
DALLAS[1]
Debbie
Listen, girls, there's money to be had, fast money. And we don't have to do anything more than what we do with our boyfriends. And they certainly have fun, don't they? And we're all still virgins, aren't we?
Annie
Okay, who's got a banana?
Cindy
I do.
Lisa
Oh, my God.
Hamilton
Don't let it scare you, honey. You'll have the time of your life.
Mr. Biddle
What I've always really wanted was to take down your pants and give you a real spanking.
Donna
Okay, Mr. Biddle. Just don't hurt me.
Mr. Biddle
Will that cost me very much?
Mr. Bradly
I'll give you $25 if you let me kiss you all over.
Cindy
Is there anything else we can do for you, Mr. Bradly?
Hamilton
One more thing, Lisa—thank you very much—would you get me that clipboard over there by the phone?
Lisa
Sure thing.
Debbie
If you don't stop right this minute, I'm gonna tell my mother!
Mr. Greenfeld
I'll put up all the money for your trip to Texas.
Debbie
Do you want me to take your pants down?
TEEN SERVICES!
8
READY TO SERVE
Narrator
Eight of the youngest, freshest, most beautiful cheerleaders in the world are coming to this theater soon. Meet Cindy, Roberta, Donna, Tammy, Lisa, Annie, Lynn, and Bambi Woods as Debbie Benson, starring in Debbie Does Dallas.
DEBBIE
DOES
DALLAS
COMING TO THIS THEATER SOON!
This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was legally published within the United States (or the United Nations Headquarters in New York subject to Section 7 of the United States Headquarters Agreement) between 1978 and March 1, 1989 (inclusive) without a copyright notice, and without subsequent copyright registration with the U.S. Copyright Office within 5 years.
This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.
Public domainPublic domainfalsefalse
- ↑ The enlarged title sequence was censored but reconstructed here from an estimated amount of time it would take to enlarge. (Wikisource contributor note)