I spent over forty years down the bottom of a well. I spent my last two years of high school unable to connect with a generation that now thinks of me as a freaking 'Boomer', whatever that is. I know what it's like to be lonely, Dr. Wettle. I think you're lonely, and I think that's, in part, because you're stuck in a pattern. I can help you break it.Bastien LeBlanc to Wettle in "The Lamest Story Never Told".
This is my whole life, has been since I don't know when. Every decision I make is a mistake. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. I've been exposed to so many batshit anomalies that they stopped bothering with the one week E-class quarantine. I've been kidnapped by VKTM so many times I've lost count. I've got no agency, I've got no control. Everybody else moves forward, and I stand still because my foot is stuck between the train track boards. I'm a negative probability sink.Wettle to Dr. Sokolsky.
Dr. William W. Wettle, is a character in the SCP Foundation series. He is one of the more notable Foundation employees working at Site-43, a research facility in Canada, where he is the Head of Replication Studies and infamously known for being an incompetent jerk.
He is one of the main protagonists of the "On Guard 43" canon. SCP-7000 was an entry for the SCP-7000 contest which won first place.
Appearance
Wettle Wettle was a caucasian fat man with a beard, big glasses, graying blond hair, and used to look ten years older than he actually was. He always wore a sleeveless dress shirt which terminated at the shoulders, a tank top with sewn buttons, false collars and clip-on ties with different colors from the shirt. During his time in the SPC's universe, Wettle wore a wetsuit, lost some weight, became more fit and gained some tan due to spending most of his time on the sea.
Personality
Plenty of them disliked each other, and as the Site's chief shrink she could easily rank them from most to least-unpopular. The top of that pile was, of course, William Wettle — but even he had a friend, two if you counted Harold Blank, who professed to detest the man yet spent a curious amount of time in his company. Wettle was an outlier, but even the next-most-odious characters had their share of friends and admirers.Nhung Ngo's inner monologue in "Out of Character".
Wettle was generally thought as an untalented, unintelligent, unmotivated, unpleasant, unfortunate, crass, callous, abrasive, lazy, clumsy and unimaginative individual who was unable to better himself and had very few friends. He was constantly unhappy and was often victim of pranks, insults and misdirections by his fellow employees, mostly by Dr. Blank who astonishingly was one of his closest friends. He also appeared to be envious of the others as they were more successful than him, and tried to be better than them, only for all of his attempts to end up in failures, and eventually grew tired of this. He accepted that nothing good would ever happen to him, and always expected bad things as he just didn't care anymore. Soon, he came to find this bad luck comforting, since he gave up trying to improve his life and would never try to win, technically he could never lose. Wettle greatly enjoyed paperwork as through it he could organize his thoughts and form his desired responses as in person he struggled with the tone, but in paper he could talk in neutral interactions.
According to Dr. Rozálie Astrauskas who could see other people's auras, Wettle was constantly irritated at everything around himself and even at himself. He didn't like any of his coworkers, even those who were considered his friends, and especially those who also didn't like him, but Wettle also tried to ignore these thoughts most of the time. Although he wasn't proud of himself he also didn't get embarrassed about his attitude anymore and had accepted himself for quite a while. Though he was considered to be insecure, inadequate, rejected and useless Wettle brushed these traits off and considered himself to be better than anyone else and no one could match his intellect. Wettle admitted to being a jackass and though he wasn't a racist he did show some prejudice to Agent Carracos who was Hispanic. He didn't care much about people he didn't know who lost their lives in tragedies he was barely a part of, but when Wettle suspected that the breach of SCP-5243 might have happened because of his bad luck he felt great guilt.
Despite of his poor reputation, Wettle was actually a caring person who didn't care much about himself and always put others before him, willingly sacrificing himself for the wellbeing of those he cared and not wishing to drag them down with him. When Dr. Adrijan Zlatá died during the containment of SCP-5243 in 2015, Wettle hoped to save him along others as he didn't die in the original breach and while they were at it he proposed to prevent Phil Deering from being haunted by SCP-5056-A, but was rebuffed. Figuring out that he was afflicted with a bad luck anomaly, Wettle usually did the opposite of his instinct, thinking that his instinct was always wrong, despite his instinct aligning with definitive instructions. He was reluctant to share the existence of his anomaly to his superiors as he feared that he would be imprisoned as the Foundation did with anomalies, but when SCP-7000 began affecting the entire world Wettle came out to his employers in hopes of helping with the event though at first he kept it secret his relation to 7000. Once the event transpired, Wettle realized that he unintentionally caused and although he was distraught by the damage it caused he found solace knowing that he had control over his own life and accepted the fact that he was behind everyone else in life.
Powers and Abilities
Wettle was for the most part a normal human with no particular abilities apart for his little experience and knowledge required for his job which was to replicate the incidents and experiments. He claimed to be knowledgeable in alternate timelines and crisis situations and could speak French besides English. Wettle wasn't stupid as everyone else thought, as he was quite of an observant and could see patterns in events which helped him identify anomalies and helped him in his replication studies. He also became an expert in chess and could win chess games using AO-11435-89-288 as it wasn't dependent on probability. However, he was poor in hand-to-hand combat and firearms usage. After coming into contact with the Cicada God's Chalice, Wettle gained minor regenerative capabilities which allowed him to recover quicker from his injuries.
After willingly giving up his quality of life, Wettle became affected by a probability manipulating anomaly that caused him to be cursed with unending bad luck which ranged from irritating inconveniences to serious accidents, making him a negative probability sink. This anomaly was mostly restricted to him though it could affect others when near him, but it also caused the environment around himself to be very lucky for those in it as all of the bad luck was attracted to Wettle, making Site-43 one of the luckiest places. However, every three to four months, Wettle could breathe some fresh air as he inexplicably experienced an entire day of good luck. After requesting to the entity responsible to be important for a time the anomaly expanded to the entire world and began causing a LK-Class "Twist of Fate" Probability Failure Scenario. As a result probability factors and anomalous fortuity became randomized, meaning that predictable actions degraded to nonsensical and high-profile outcomes. Wettle's anomaly could counteract the phenomenon by giving those around him good luck while his enemies became afflicted with bad luck. It is heavily implied that this anomaly is a result of Wettle being a joke character in the narrative of reality, making the anomaly a pataphysical phenomenon.
As SPC-7000, Wettle's properties underwent a significant change as a result of interacting with the dimensional barrier between his universe and the SPC's. He still experienced significant bad luck, but when inserted underwater his agitated movements became so fast and strong that he struck sharks with a combined force of over 9000 PSI. He used this new ability to annihilate countless mutated sharks, causing the Shark Punching Center to consider Wettle a deity level pugilist, one of the rarer natural shark punchers. He had a PPK, or Punches Per Kill, ratio of around 70 which surpassed that of most SPC's experts, having killed more sharks than any other SPC members.
Wettle would also be affected by SCP-7643, a anomaly that attached to people and caused them to be unable to open traditional doors as everytime they tried to pull or push it, the mechanism would be inverted. This made it impossible for the affected individual to open doors, but it could transfered to another person if that individual made fun of them. Wettle was the latest person to be affected by SCP-7643, but he simply assumed it to be part of his general bad luck.
In Other Media
The Breach Goes On: Bury the Survivors Vol 1
A book adaptation of "The Breach Goes On: Bury the Survivors" series with illustrations created by SCP author Harry Blank. It is a story revolving around Wettle, alongside six other Foundation personnel working in Site-43, Dr. Lillian S. Lillihammer, Dr. Udo A. Okorie, Chief Noè Nascimbeni, Dr. Harold R. Blank, Chief Delfina M. Ibanez and Dir. Allan J. McInnis.
The Breach Goes On: Wrong Tomorrow Vol 2
Wettle again appears in the sequel "Wrong Tomorrow". He alongside the other protagonists witness their reality drastically changing due to alternate timelines merging to theirs, and only they are aware of it. As a result they work together to fix this problem and preserve the universe.
Trivia
- Wettle is one of the few Americans working in Site-43.
- After watching the movie Earthquake, Wettle took a few days off from work as Site-43 was underground. He also apparently watched Green Acres as it reminded him of his childhood home, and even pirated DVDs of The Rockford Files.
- Wettle had a habit of using a photocopy of his ID card when forgetting the real one back in office.
- In the timeline of TL-5956-X in which Dr. Douglas Deering used the REISNO Cannon to try to prevent SCP-5243, this attempt failed but instead of Zlatà, Radcliffe, Del Olmo, Mukami, Markey, Ambrogi and Wirth dying it was Wettle with the rest of PTF Sampi-5243. As a result, everytime the breach repeated itself Wettle and the other victims would be forced to relive the moment of their deaths.
- Wettle used to smoke cigarettes, but now only sucks them.
- Wettle believes that the only reason why he hasn't been fired yet was because he was needed for the containment of SCP-5243.
- Wettle once contributed to Harry's SCP-001 Proposal, but it was never published.
- Wettle has become somewhat of an infamous figure, as various researchers in American sites would joke about employees messing up really bad that they had "pulled a Wettle".
- During Halloween, Wettle attempted to dress up as DC's Two-Face, but his makeup fell off though he kept the villain's trademark coin to test his luck, which he always missed.
- Wettle once wrote a paper about how the Sherden and other Sea Peoples probably descended from the Atlanteans.
- Given that Wettle's anomaly was probably of pataphysical nature as suggested in SCP-7069, it is possible that the entity that affected him and caused SCP-7000 was one of the Authors, most likely his creator HarryBlank himself.
- The images used for Wettle, are actually photographs of Nic McPhee, a real-life man who used Flickr.
- According to Sokolsky, Wettle was the thirty-seventh probabilistic anomaly.
- Wettle was named after William Wallace from Braveheart.
- Wettle was two years older than Harold Blank.
- Wettle didn't like blueberries.
- Wettle always referred to Nascimbeni as "buddy" as he was unable to remember his name.
- Wettle had a list of every person he didn't like.
- When the Foundation used SCP-978 to take a photo of Wettle, the picture showed him with both of his nostrils stuffed with tissue paper, which was the opposite of what he wanted as he was forced to stuff his left nostril due to a nose bleed from an accident.
- In "It's Good to Touch the Green, Green Grass of Home" part of the "Aces and Eights" canon, a universe in which the SCP Foundation is set in the Old Wild West, Wettle went to the Circus of the Disquieting to see one of their attractions, a massive bird, but was disappointed to learn that it had been stolen.
- In "Three Lessons for Endless Night", Wettle was a student at the Fundamentum's Arcana Institute of Xerophylla, where he was ridiculed and picked on by his classmates over his clumsiness.
- In "Rate My Director", a newly hired personnel at Site-43 was made to believe that Wettle was the director of the site as a way to pick on both of them. Under this false belief the new personnel gave Wettle one out of five stars after seeing how much Wettle was ridiculed.
- At some point it was proposed that Wettle to be used in an termination attempt on SCP-682, but it was denied since despite Wettle most likely surviving his encounter with the monster he would sustain grievous injuries that could remain with him for the rest of his life.
- In "Waiting To Happen", it was said that Wettle genuinely believed that the D-Class were sold to the Foundation by a salesman who appears only when someone wrote a bad experiment schedule.
