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New Gill


New Gill is a take-off of New Girl and is spoofed with Hans Christen Andersen's the Little Mermaid.

This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 25 (51): Addition Impossible / New Gill.

Summary

Ariel breaks up with Prince Eric and moves into an apartment with three dudes.

References

MAD References

Characters

Transcript

[We join Ariel the Mermaid, recently back to her old human self again after her mermaid curse was broken, and clad in her princess clothing, climbing up the stairs to the cathederal gates, as she is about to marry to Prince Eric. Everything seems perfect... Too perfect to last, though.]

Ariel (singing) (Walking into church): Used to be a mermaid, now I'm just a girl-maid about to marry a prince. [Opens the gates... only to see, in shock, Eric and the octopus witch Ursula - the one responsible for the curse in the first place.] (Organ plays) (speaking) Eric! What are you doing?! You're supposed to marry me, not Ursula!

Eric: I'm sorry, Ariel. I just can't stand all your constant singing. I mean at first, it was endearing, but now it's just annoying. REALLY ANNOYING! In conclusion, I'd rather marry an evil witch.

(Evil music clip plays)

Ariel: Ugh! This is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me!

(With a devilish smile and a mere point of a finger, Ursula zaps Ariel and turns her back into a mermaid.)

Ariel: Nope. Actually, this is worse.

(Organ plays again.)

(Scene changes.)

Ariel: And that's why I need a new place to live.

Schmidt: So when you say "constant singing" do you mean that--

Ariel (singing): Literally!

(Title card: New Gill)

Ariel (singing) (crying): Lost my prince to an octopus monster.

Schmidt: I don't know about this new girl. She won't stop singing and she keeps watching that same movie over and over again!

Nick: Dirty Dancing?

Schmidt: No! Ocean's Eleven.

Ariel (crying): This movie makes no sense! Where is the ocean?!

Winston: Not to mention her weird friend keeps bring us trash!

Scuttle: I brought you a Dinglehopper, and a Banglewozer! I think this one's for cleaning the toilet.

Schmidt: Ariel, It's been weeks since Prince Eric broke up with you. You can't just keep flopping... (I'm sorry) moping around like this.

Nick: Yeah. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and in this case I mean that literally.

(Switches scenes to Krusty Krab) (zooms in)

Marlin: So a little about me. I got a kid, I keep losing him, my wife was eaten, I once ran with a tank gang, my life is a mess.

(switches back to house)

Ariel: For a clown fish, he really was a downer.

Schmidt: Okay, point taken. We know a guy who's a lot more chipper.

(back to Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: (laughing)

Ariel: Uh. SpongeBob, I haven't even said anything yet.

SpongeBob: (laughing)

(back to house)

Ariel: He lives in a pineapple under the sea! Look, I know I'm whimsical, (I comb my hair with a fork) but there have to be limits.

Schmidt: Wait. I just thought of someone else we could set Ariel up with!

(Krusty Krab... again)

Ariel: Aquaman? The boys were right. We're so compatible! We're both royalty, we're both half fish, *sigh* you're the perfect catch.

Aquaman: Thanks!

(2 fishermen fish Aquaman out) (camera zooms out to Deadliest Catch logo)

Derrick: Now he's the Deadliest Catch!

(zooms out more)

Ariel: The only man turned out to be stronger as Aquaman.

Scuttle: Well, yes. Is it just me or is my feet dry?

(Krusty Krab… yet again)

Liam: I'm sorry. I haven't slept in with your sister for decades and the pot of gold is lost.

Ariel: So…does every pot of gold make this charming? Like shoes wearing horns will be nice.

Liam: What now? (kicked in the groin by a shoehorn) Awww, me lucky charms!

(zooms out once again)

Ariel: Ugh. Why can't I find true love? (singing) oh boy! What's my problem?

Scuttle: These are colping waldies! I think they're for blocking out sound.

Schmidt: Eh, It's worth a shot.

Ariel: Those MAD show folks. What a mess.

(Segment ends)

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