A jungle is a biome full of dense vegetation which generate in areas with high humidity values, often next to forests. There are three varieties of jungles.
Description
Large oak trees and small or tall jungle trees generate here. Jungle trees can grow tall and are the tallest trees in the game, with the tallest of them being over 30 blocks in height. Many of the grass blocks have grass and ferns. Jungle bushes made of oak leaves[Java Edition only][1] or jungle leaves[Bedrock Edition only] and a single log grow on the floor of the jungle, which frequently obstruct view of the light-green grass below. Many of the leaves and logs of both types are covered in vines. Cocoa pods and melons generate on logs of small jungle trees and in patches on the ground, respectively. Melon patches are exclusive to jungle biomes, and they generate somewhat more often than pumpkin patches do in other biomes. Parrots, ocelots and pandas exclusively spawn in jungle biomes. Jungles contain varying vegetation, from the typical dense foliage of the main jungle biomes to the grassy meadows that form in sparse jungle biomes.
Jungles are usually bordered by forests, plains, but also often border deserts, birch forests and dark forests. Regular jungles are often separated from sparse jungles or bamboo jungles by rivers.
Jungle pyramids may generate in bamboo jungles[Java Edition only] and regular jungles, which is exclusive to jungle biomes. As these temples are partially made of mossy cobblestone and also covered in vines, they can prove hard to spot from a distance due to the density of the trees.
Survival in jungles can be difficult. While running out of logs is unlikely, obtaining logs can present a challenge due to the heights of jungle trees. Jungle trees are significantly less sustainable compared to other trees, as their leaves drop saplings only 2.5% of the time, compared to 5% for all other trees; this means large jungle trees often drop only enough saplings to regrow them and not plant any new trees, while small jungle trees may not even drop a single sapling. The dense, foliage can easily get a player lost without some sort of trail marker, such as torches, and clearing this maze-like foliage for shelter is no easy task, due to both the heights it can reach and the sheer amount of it. However, parrots can make for useful pets when tamed; ocelots cannot be tamed, but can gain trust. They can repel creepers, while parrots can alert players of nearby monsters. Cocoa beans and melons can also be farmed for dye, food, trading and decoration.
In jungles, cod and salmon are the only fish which may be caught during fishing in Bedrock Edition. Otherwise, bamboo and cocoa beans[Bedrock Edition only] can also be collected.
Jungle biomes are significantly more resource-demanding to load and render compared to other biomes. Thus, players exploring in jungles may wish to turn down their graphics settings to avoid lag and FPS drops.[2]The frequency of large jungle trees generated in Bedrock Edition is lower than in Java Edition.
Variants
There are three jungle biome variants: jungle, sparse jungle and bamboo jungle. There are four removed variants: jungle hills, modified jungle, modified jungle edge and bamboo jungle hills in previous versions.
Jungle
The regular biome variant features the distinctive large jungle trees and dense jungle bushes across the ground. Oaks and small jungle trees along with cocoa beans also generate here. Single shoots of bamboo may generate on the floor as well. Jungle pyramids and trail ruins may generate in this biome. Ocelots, parrots and pandas may spawn here.
The following mobs are naturally spawned here：
| Mob | Spawn weight | Group size |
|---|---|---|
| Monster category | ||
| Creeper | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Skeleton | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Slime[note 1] | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Spider | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Zombie | 95⁄517 | 4 |
| Enderman | 10⁄517 | 1–4 |
| Witch | 5⁄517 | 1 |
| Zombie Villager | 5⁄517 | 1 |
| Ocelot[note 2] | 2⁄517 | 1–3 |
| Ambient category | ||
| Bat | 1 | 8 |
| Creature category | ||
| Parrot | 40⁄91 | 1–2 |
| Chicken | 20⁄91 | 4 |
| Sheep | 12⁄91 | 4 |
| Pig | 10⁄91 | 4 |
| Cow | 8⁄91 | 4 |
| Panda | 1⁄91 | 1–2 |
| Underground water creature category | ||
| Glow Squid | 1 | 4–6 |
| Mob | Spawn weight | Group size |
|---|---|---|
| Monster category | ||
| Creeper | 100⁄495 | 1 |
| Slime[note 1] | 100⁄495 | 1 |
| Spider | 100⁄495 | 1 |
| Zombie | 95⁄495 | 2–4 |
| Skeleton | 80⁄495 | 1–2 |
| Enderman | 10⁄495 | 1–2 |
| Witch | 5⁄495 | 1 |
| Zombie Villager | 5⁄495 | 2–4 |
| Creature category | ||
| Parrot | 40⁄130 | 1–2 |
| Ocelot | 30⁄130 | 1–2 |
| Sheep | 12⁄130 | 2–3 |
| Chicken | 10⁄130 | 2–4 |
| Glow Squid | 10⁄130 | 2–4 |
| Panda | 10⁄130 | 1–2 |
| Pig | 10⁄130 | 1–3 |
| Cow | 8⁄130 | 2–3 |
| Ambient category | ||
| Bat | 1 | 2 |
- ↑ Spawn attempt succeeds only in slime chunks.
Sparse Jungle
The sparse jungle or jungle edge biome is a sparser variation of the jungle. Oak trees, jungle trees, jungle bushes, and patched melons generate here, though at significantly lower rates than the regular jungle, roughly comparable to the rate of trees in the savanna biome, additionally only small jungle trees generate in this biome. Bamboo does not generate here.[3]
The grass still takes on a bright green color, though slightly less vibrant than the main jungle. In Bedrock Edition, ocelots, parrots and pandas may spawn in this biome. Jungle pyramids do not generate here in both Java Edition and Bedrock Edition.[4]
The following mobs are naturally spawned here：
| Mob | Spawn weight | Group size |
|---|---|---|
| Monster category | ||
| Creeper | 100⁄515 | 4 |
| Skeleton | 100⁄515 | 4 |
| Slime[note 1] | 100⁄515 | 4 |
| Spider | 100⁄515 | 4 |
| Zombie | 95⁄515 | 4 |
| Enderman | 10⁄515 | 1–4 |
| Witch | 5⁄515 | 1 |
| Zombie Villager | 5⁄515 | 1 |
| Ambient category | ||
| Bat | 1 | 8 |
| Creature category | ||
| Chicken | 20⁄50 | 4 |
| Sheep | 12⁄50 | 4 |
| Pig | 10⁄50 | 4 |
| Cow | 8⁄50 | 4 |
| Underground water creature category | ||
| Glow Squid | 1 | 4–6 |
- ↑ Spawn attempt succeeds only in slime chunks.
In Bedrock Edition, sparse jungle use the same mob spawning chances as jungles.
Bamboo Jungle
The bamboo jungle is a rare variant with dense bamboos. Oak trees, jungle trees, and jungle bushes are much less dense in this variant than in the regular jungle, and more dense to the sparse jungle, but boasts countless amounts of bamboo across its landscape. Patched melons are as common as in regular variants. Some swaths of grass blocks are replaced with podzol, similarly to old growth taigas. Naturally-generated trees are large variants; only 2×2 jungle trees and large, branching oak trees may generate, though many of the oaks are simply small "balloon" oaks. Cocoa beans cannot be found here, since they generate only on small jungle trees. All jungle-exclusive mobs spawn here. Pandas have a higher spawn rate in bamboo jungle than in regular jungle. Jungle pyramids may spawn here in Java Edition, whereas there are no jungle pyramids in Bedrock Edition.
Due to their exceptionally high humidity values, bamboo jungles are almost guaranteed to have lush caves generate below them.
The following mobs are naturally spawned here：
| Mob | Spawn weight | Group size |
|---|---|---|
| Monster category | ||
| Creeper | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Skeleton | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Slime[note 1] | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Spider | 100⁄517 | 4 |
| Zombie | 95⁄517 | 4 |
| Enderman | 10⁄517 | 1–4 |
| Witch | 5⁄517 | 1 |
| Zombie Villager | 5⁄517 | 1 |
| Ocelot[note 2] | 2⁄517 | 1 |
| Ambient category | ||
| Bat | 1 | 8 |
| Creature category | ||
| Panda | 80⁄170 | 1–2 |
| Parrot | 40⁄170 | 1–2 |
| Chicken | 20⁄170 | 4 |
| Sheep | 12⁄170 | 4 |
| Pig | 10⁄170 | 4 |
| Cow | 8⁄170 | 4 |
| Underground water creature category | ||
| Glow Squid | 1 | 4–6 |
| Mob | Spawn weight | Group size |
|---|---|---|
| Monster category | ||
| Creeper | 100⁄495 | 1 |
| Slime[note 1] | 100⁄495 | 1 |
| Spider | 100⁄495 | 1 |
| Zombie | 95⁄495 | 2–4 |
| Skeleton | 80⁄495 | 1–2 |
| Enderman | 10⁄495 | 1–2 |
| Witch | 5⁄495 | 1 |
| Zombie Villager | 5⁄495 | 2–4 |
| Creature category | ||
| Panda | 40⁄160 | 1–2 |
| Parrot | 40⁄160 | 1–2 |
| Ocelot | 30⁄160 | 1–2 |
| Sheep | 12⁄160 | 2–3 |
| Chicken | 10⁄160 | 2–4 |
| Glow Squid | 10⁄160 | 2–4 |
| Pig | 10⁄160 | 1–3 |
| Cow | 8⁄160 | 2–3 |
| Ambient category | ||
| Bat | 1 | 2 |
- ↑ Spawn attempt succeeds only in slime chunks.
Sounds
Music
These music tracks play while the player is in the Jungle or in the Bamboo Jungle
These music tracks play while the player is in the Sparse Jungle
Data values
ID
| Name | Identifier | Translation key |
|---|---|---|
| Jungle | jungle | biome.minecraft.jungle |
| Sparse Jungle | sparse_jungle | biome.minecraft.sparse_jungle |
| Bamboo Jungle | bamboo_jungle | biome.minecraft.bamboo_jungle |
| Name | Identifier | Numeric ID |
|---|---|---|
| [No displayed name] | jungle | 21 |
| [No displayed name] | jungle_edge | 23 |
| [No displayed name] | bamboo_jungle | 48 |
History
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Java Edition Alpha |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| v1.2.0 | preview | Added true biomes, including the rain forest. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Java Edition Beta |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.8 | Pre-release | Removed rainforests as part of a biome overhaul. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Java Edition |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.2.1 | January 18, 2012 | Jens Bergensten tweeted a teaser screenshot of a new jungle biome. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| January 19, 2012 | Jens tweeted another jungle screenshot, showcasing the bright green foliage. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 12w03a | Jungle biome officially added. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 12w04a | Ocelots were introduced, which spawn only in jungles. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.3.1 | 12w19a | Added cocoa pods, which generate on jungle trees. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 12w22a | Added jungle pyramids, which can generate in all jungle variants. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.7.2 | 13w36a | Jungle Edge, Jungle M and Jungle Edge M variant biomes added, along with many other biomes. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Melons can now generate in all jungle variants. | |||||
| Jungle biomes have been made much rarer. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.12 | 17w13a | Added parrots, which spawn only in jungles. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.13 | 18w16a | Renamed JungleHills to Jungle Hills. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Renamed JungleEdge to Jungle Edge. | |||||
| Renamed Jungle M to Mutated Jungle. | |||||
| Renamed JungleEdge M to Mutated Jungle Edge. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 18w19a | Renamed Mutated Jungle to Modified Jungle. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Renamed Mutated Jungle Edge to Modified Jungle Edge. | |||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| pre5 | Changed the ID mutated_jungle to modified_jungle.
| ||
|---|---|---|---|
Changed the ID mutated_jungle_edge to modified_jungle_edge. | |||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.14 | 18w43a | Added Bamboo Jungle and Bamboo Jungle Hills variant biomes. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Added bamboo, which can rarely grow within normal jungles and extensively grow in bamboo jungles. | |||||
| Added pandas, which can spawn in jungles. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 19w06a | Jungle pyramids can now generate in bamboo jungles. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.18 | Experimental Snapshot 1 | Jungles are common again. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jungle hills, modified jungles, jungle edges, modified jungle edges and bamboo jungle hills no longer generate naturally. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| experimental snapshot 5 | Jungle edge biomes are able to generate once again. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 21w40a | "Jungle Edge" has been renamed to "Sparse Jungle". | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| The ID "jungle_edge" has been changed to "sparse_jungle". | |||
| The jungle hills, modified jungle, modified jungle edge and bamboo jungle hills biomes have been removed. | |||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.20 | 23w12a | Added trail ruins, which can generate in regular jungles. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 23w17a | "A Familiar Room" and "Bromeliad" can now be played in all type of jungle biomes. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| "Aerie", "Firebugs", and "Labyrinthine" can no longer be played in all types of jungle biomes. | |||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Pocket Edition Alpha |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| v0.9.0 | build 1 | Added jungle biomes and their variants. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Melons can now generate in all jungle variants. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| v0.12.1 | build 1 | Ocelots can now spawn in jungles. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| v0.15.0 | build 1 | Added jungle pyramids. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Bedrock Edition |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.2.0 | beta 1.2.0.2 | Added parrots, which spawn only in jungles. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.8.0 | beta 1.8.0.8 | Added pandas to jungles. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Changed fishing loot in jungles. Only raw cod and raw salmon can be caught as fish, while bamboo and cocoa bean can now be caught as a fishing item. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.9.0 | beta 1.9.0.0 | Added bamboo jungles, which are available only through Experimental Gameplay. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bamboo shoots now rarely generate within jungle biomes. | |||||
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| 1.11.0 | beta 1.11.0.1 | Fully implemented bamboo jungle, no longer under experimental gameplay. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Caves & Cliffs (experimental) | beta 1.17.30.23 | Jungle hills, modified jungles, jungle edges, modified jungle edges and bamboo jungle hills no longer generate naturally. | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| beta 1.17.40.20 | Jungle edge biomes are able to generate once again. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| Legacy Console Edition |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| TU1 | CU1 | 1.00 | Patch 1 | 1.0.1 | Added rain forests, which are similar to the modern jungle biomes. |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| TU5 | Removed rain forests as part of a biome overhaul. |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| TU12 | Added jungle biomes, along with ocelots. |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| TU14 | 1.04 | Added jungle pyramids. |
|---|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| TU31 | CU19 | 1.22 | Patch 3 | Added Jungle M and Jungle Edge M variants, along with many other biomes. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Melons may now generate in all jungle variants. |
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin' through my head I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "Querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque
| TU54 | CU44 | 1.52 | Patch 24 | 1.0.4 | Added parrots, which spawn exclusively in jungles. |
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See also
References
External Links
- Around the Block: Jungle – Minecraft.net on December 3, 2020
- Around the Block: Bamboo Jungle – Minecraft.net on September 22, 2021
- Around the Block: Sparse Jungle – Minecraft.net on September 15, 2022
- "Minecraft: The Great Wild | Jungle" – Minecraft on YouTube, August 4, 2023