This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Best Day Ever" from season 4, which aired on November 10, 2006.
- [The episode starts at night as the camera focuses on the trio of houses on Conch Street while zooming in on SpongeBob's. Inside, he is asleep. The sun quickly rises outside, turning night into day, and SpongeBob awakens as well.]
- SpongeBob: ♪Mr. Sun came up, and he smiled at me. [Mr. Sun dances for a bit, then approaches SpongeBob's window, heating up the latter's bedroom in the process.] Said, [with him voicing Mr. Sun] "It's gonna be a good one, just wait and see." [after a few seconds, the bed catches fire, and SpongeBob flies off of it] Jumped out of bed and I ran outside, [he now exits his house and runs around it, then on the facade of the building] feeling so extra ecstatified. It's the best day ever!♪
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- [SpongeBob now hops on the roof where Gary is standing]
- SpongeBob: Hey, Gary!
- Gary: Meow?
- SpongeBob: "Why is this the best day ever?", you ask? Because, Gary, I get to start this wonderful day bringing life to a whole new generation [a thought cloud appears showing the visuals of SpongeBob's description of his perfect day] of delicious Krabby Patties, followed by a vigorous mid-day session of karate with Sandy, and an afternoon jellyfishing with Patrick, where I'll unveil my newest, most prized possession: the Deluxe Jelly Slayer Composite Pro! [catches Gary with the net, with the snail upside down] And for the grand finale, every one of my closest friends joining together for Squidward's clarinet recital! [the thought cloud disappears] I am so excited, I think I'm gonna explode! [He explodes into pieces then walks out of his house in one piece and continues singing while Gary went away] ♪It's the best day ever♪
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- [SpongeBob now hops on the heads of jellyfish and stands on one of them]
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- [The jellyfish form a heart which is illuminated by their electricity]
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- [SpongeBob leaps off of one of the jellyfish and approaches the Krusty Krab, which is wrapped completely with yellow tape]
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- [SpongeBob laughs then tries opening the door to the Krusty Krab but can't because it's locked]
- Mr. Krabs: Get out of the way, boy! [SpongeBob flies off the door and bounces into Mr. Krabs] Me building's been condemned, boy! We got ourselves a nematode infestation! [Nematodes come and eat the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs faints]
- SpongeBob: But... the best day ever starts at the Krusty Krab! Guys, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave! [nematodes eat his pants] Ohhhh! Guys, you're ruining the [off-key] best day... [clears throat] Wait, no. [off-key] Best day... uhm. [plays his nose as a flute. The nematodes line up. When SpongeBob stops, the nematodes walk up] Huh? [plays the 'best day ever' tune. The nematodes chatter excitedly. They follow SpongeBob]
- Mr. Krabs: [sighs] Keep playing, lad! Take them devil's sons of the sea away from me restaurant! [Bubble transition. SpongeBob stops playing and falls over due to being tired. The nematodes fall asleep, also. SpongeBob's watch beeps]
- SpongeBob: Whoa! I gotta get to Sandy's! [scene cuts to Sandy's treedome. SpongeBob opens up her door then jumps behind a bush] Wait ‘til Sandy gets a load of these adhesive karate gloves. Hyah! [karate chops the box the gloves were in. Then he chuckles and jumps onto the top of the treedome and sticks due to his gloves. He moves above her tree and falls through it and lands on a tree branch, then jumps at her] Hyah! [Sandy ducks and SpongeBob hits her buckets of water]
- Sandy: [standing on a ladder, using a bucket to catch water in] SpongeBob, what on Earth are you doing?!
- SpongeBob: Oh, just a little something I like to call karate!
- Sandy: I can't right now, SpongeBob. I got a leak in my roof the size of a full-grown quarter horse!
- SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. I see. Okay, then. I'll come back later. [walks off, but then reappears by Sandy and tries to karate chop her]
- Sandy: Knock... it... off! [punches SpongeBob up high. The leak stops] It stopped? SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: Yeah?
- Sandy: Hang on! I'm going to get some sealant and patch and trowel! [runs into her treedome]
- SpongeBob: [groans] Oh. [slips out of his glove and falls. Scene cuts to SpongeBob walking to Jellyfish Fields] Oh, no Krabby Patties, no karate. But at least I still have jellyfishing with... Hey, there he is now! [sees Patrick chasing a jellyfish] Wait for me, Patrick. I've got a brand-new... [Patrick is crying] What's wrong, Patrick?
- Patrick: I broke my net! [sobbing]
- SpongeBob: Well, lucky for you, I brought my old net. [Patrick grabs it]
- Patrick: For me? [giggles]
- SpongeBob: Yeah, I won't be needing it now that I got my brand-new... [Patrick breaks SpongeBob's jellyfish net. He cries]
- Patrick: [bawling] SpongeBob! I broke... could I use this one? [points to SpongeBob's new net]
- SpongeBob: Well, actually, Patrick, that's my brand-new net.
- Patrick: Yeah? [cut to later where SpongeBob is waiting for his net while Patrick uses it]
- SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's my turn, now. [Patrick ignores him] Hey, Patrick? Pat, old buddy. P-Patrick? It's-it's my turn now. [sighs] I guess I'll see you at the concert. [cut to SpongeBob walking at night to the concert, sadly] It's the best day ever. It's the best day ever. Oh, this best day ever isn't going so good. [takes out notebook and pencil and cancels "Jellyfishing w/ Patrick"] No work, no karate, no jellyfishing. Hey, I still have Squidward's concert! I won't let this one slip through my fingers. [cut to Squidward bawling outside the Bikini Bottom Recreation Center, in his uniform] Hey, Squidward. Squidward, what's wrong?
- Squidward: The concert is ruined! My reed is shot. [shows it] See? I'm finished!
- SpongeBob: [slaps Squidward] Pull yourself together, man! I came for here a concert, and darn it, I am gonna get one!
- Squidward: [sobbing] But my reed! [SpongeBob pulls one of his front teeth out and uses it as a reed]
- SpongeBob: Now play!
- Squidward: But... [SpongeBob slaps him]
- SpongeBob: I said play! [Squidward plays]
- Squidward: Not bad. [SpongeBob slaps him again]
- SpongeBob: Now get in there and give me a concert to remember! [suddenly, an usher grabs him]
- Usher: Where do you think you're going, kid?
- SpongeBob: I'm going to see Squidward play his clarinet. Today's my best day ever!
- Usher: Where's your ticket?
- SpongeBob: One ticket, coming right up, cap'n! [searches his pocket] Must be here somewhere. [takes off his pants and dumps out what is in it] I don't have a ticket.
- Usher: No ticket, no entry.
- SpongeBob: But...
- Usher: No ticket, no entry! [cut to a SpongeBob puppet on strings coming down]
- SpongeBob Puppet: Oh, dear! I don't have a ticket. But I want to go to the show. Hmmm... what should I do? Oh, I know. I'll just sneak in the back door. [leaves]
- Usher: Oh, no, you don't! [runs after him as SpongeBob climbs down the wall, laughing]
- SpongeBob: SpongeBob, you are so... [walks backwards into an usher puppet]
- Usher Puppet: Ticket, please. [Later, SpongeBob, wearing a ski mask, is climbing up the side of the building and through the vent on the roof. He uses a flamethrower to cut his way through a door, which is actually the entry doors. The usher kicks him away from the building. Cut to later, where Mrs. Puff drives up in her boat and gets out, walking up to the usher]
- Usher: Ticket, ma'am.
- Mrs. Puff: Certainly. [reaches into her purse. She hears some giggling and takes out the object in her purse] SpongeBob?
- Usher: You? This time, I'm gonna -- Wait a minute! Did you say, "SpongeBob"? [looks at his clipboard] SpongeBob SquarePants? You're on the VIP list! [the usher carries SpongeBob on a pillow to his seat]
- SpongeBob: [gasps] A reserved seat? Next to my friends? I made it! All I have to do is sit down and... [Just when he sits down, everyone applauds as the curtains close, marking the end of the show, and SpongeBob completely loses it. Yells in frustration shaking his fists up making a rumbling sound as everyone looks at him in confusion] [enraged] No! [jumps on stage and tears the curtain] No, it is not over!
- Everyone: Huh?
- SpongeBob: This was supposed to be my perfect day. But then everything... [a fish gets up and starts to leave, but SpongeBob stops him as he screams] Sit down! [the fish does so] Then everything turned to doo-doo. [Mr. Krabs, Patrick and Sandy go upstage with him]
- Mr. Krabs: It's okay, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob: No, it's not okay! [his yelling makes Mr. Krabs and Patrick flinch and scared] This was gonna be my best day ever! Starting with doing the best job in the world: working at the Krusty Krab.
- Mr. Krabs: Boy, you saved me barnacle the way you put the run on them nematodes.
- SpongeBob: [sniffles] Yeah, I guess so. But then I was gonna do karate with Sandy.
- Sandy: I know, but you saved the treedome! Pretty cool, if you ask me.
- SpongeBob: Well, I suppose. But then I was gonna go jellyfishing with Patrick.
- Patrick: But then you... Uh, what'd you do again?
- Squidward: And, I hate to admit it, but I suppose if you hadn't fixed my reed, the concert would have been a bust.
- Mr. Krabs: You see, SpongeBob, it's not about you or your perfect day or any of those things.
- SpongeBob: [starting to feel calm; realizing] It's not?
- Mr. Krabs: No. [chuckles] It's about us!
- SpongeBob: It is?
- Mr. Krabs: Yep. And since you did such a good job, we wanna make it up to you.
- SpongeBob: You do?
- Mr. Krabs: So, just tell us anything your little heart desires, and it's yours. [SpongeBob smiles and scene cuts to Mr. Krabs coming on stage with the light shining on him] Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the Bikini Bottom Players proudly present a very expensive production of... "The Best Day Ever!" And it better be good for all it's costing me.
- The crowd applauds and the show begins; SpongeBob starts at a makeshift Krusty Krab grill.]
- SpongeBob: ♪My perfect job starts my perfect day.♪ [flips a patty] ♪Then it's time to kick back, relax and play.♪ [practices karate with Sandy. She kicks him. He land next to Patrick. Jellyfishes comes up in the scene]
- Mr. Krabs: That wasn't in the budget!
- SpongeBob: ♪Sing along. Hear that happy sound♪
- Patrick: ♪Don't let those sour notes bring you down.♪
- Squidward: Hey!
- SpongeBob: ♪That's where it's at!♪ [crashes spotlight]
- Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying for that!
- [As the main "Best Day Ever" song starts up again, three shots of spotlights are shown as they illuminate a large Krabby Patty prop. One by one, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, and Sandy take their seats on it. Now, SpongeBob brings it home with him singing the song! Behind him, the sign reading "Best Day Ever" and a set of risers is on stage.]
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- [14 SpongeBob clones appear on the risers singing and dancing as well]
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- [the real SpongeBob now runs on stage to join his friends on the Krabby Patty]
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- [The Krabby Patty rises with everyone on it and the ladder drops. The Patty now stops below the sign and it swings from side to side. Bubbles and confetti descend as the quintet continue singing and wave to the cheering audience.]
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- [moments after the show, everyone on stage is tired except SpongeBob who is still singing about]
- SpongeBob: ♪It's the best day ever♪
- Echo: ♪Best day ever♪
- Squidward: How long do we have to keep this up?
- Mr. Krabs: Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. [the usher sweeps up the auditorium] Just till his little heart gives out.