"No Control" is a song written by David Bowie and Brian Eno, originally written for the former's 1995 concept album Outside. It appears in the SpongeBob SquarePants musical with new lyrics. In the context of the musical, the citizens of Bikini Bottom have just found out that a volcano is about to erupt and are preparing for the end times.
Lyrics
[SPONGEBOB, PATRICK & SANDY]
The end is coming!
The end is coming!
The end is coming!
[PERCH PERKINS, spoken]
This just in:
(sung)
The end is in our future,
Evidence has come to light.
It's all deranged.
No control…
Sit tight in your corner,
No point in making plans.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SANDY]
The science is clear,
I'm afraid it's true!
[SPONGEBOB]
The end's really here!
[PATRICK]
There's nothing we can do!
[SANDY]
And if I read these numbers right,
Our time is up…
[SPONGEBOB, PATRICK & SANDY]
Tomorrow night!
[PERKINS]
Time runs out tomorrow,
Terror in our final hours.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[KRABS]
Lava will flow,
And we'll burn when it does.
Just ashes and smoke
Where me money once was!
[PLANKTON]
There's gotta be a scheme,
There's gotta be a plan.
[KAREN]
I think we should run
While we still can!
[COMPANY]
While we...
No control!
[PERKINS & SANDY]
Stay away from the future,
No point in making plans.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SPONGEBOB]
Everyone's so scared and sad,
Just one volcano, that's not so bad.
Until Bikini Bottom's gone,
Let's all keep calm and carry on!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
Ahhh!
[SPONGEBOB, SANDY & PERKINS]
No control!
I can't believe I've no control!
It's all deranged!
I can't believe I've no control!
It's all deranged!
Deranged!
Deranged!
[ALL]
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
I don't get why everyone is so worried. Sure, that volcano might destroy everything. But on the other hand... it might not.
[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
When are you gonna learn, SpongeBob? The world is a horrible place filled with fear, suffering and despair. Also dashed hopes, shattered dreams, broken promises and abject misery.
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
But it's our horrible place with the best abject misery there is! They'll see, everything is under control. Right?
[PERCH PERKINS]
No fish knows the future,
Not a single shark or sole.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
Don't you think you're being a little negative?
[PERCH PERKINS]
The town is under curfew,
The fish-police are on patrol.
It's all deranged…
No control…
[MR. KRABS]
Pearl, come with me,
Let's stay in today.
I need to make sure
That me money's okay.
[PEARL]
But dad, no fair!
My trip to the mall
Does this mean I can't go shopping at all?!
[PERCH PERKINS]
Crisis and disaster,
The future is black as coal.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SQUIDWARD]
Stuck here at home,
But I'm not upset.
An evening alone
With my clarinet!
[PATRICK]
This could take a while,
So I should relax.
But the stores are all closed,
And I'm out of snacks! (Out of snacks!)
[COMPANY]
No control!
[PERKINS]
Possible mass destruction,
Nature will take its call.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SPONGEBOB]
La la la la la la la la-
[SANDY, spoken]
SpongeBob, what are you doing out of your pineapple? Everyone's supposed to be inside!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
It's going to be fine, Sandy. The Mayor said she'll handle it. And everyone knows, you can always trust the government.
[SANDY, spoken]
Well... I've got news hot off the griddle. I did some calculations, and that volcano is gonna erupt, as sure as a rhinestone cowboy at a disco rodeo. I figured out when, too. It's gonna happen at sundown tomorrow!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
OK, Sandy, but I don't think...
[SANDY, spoken]
I'm serious as a guacamole shortage at a taco party! I determined a timeline through analysis of... seismic activity, gas emissions, geomagnetic and gravimetric changes. Over the next 36 hours, tremors will increase and boulders will fall, eventually leading to a cataclysmic eruption which will completely destroy Bikini Bottom! The End...is nigh.
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
The end-end?
[SANDY]
The science is clear,
I'm afraid it's true.
The end's really here.
There's nothing we can do.
And if I read these numbers right,
Our time is up
Tomorrow night!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
Tomorrow?
[SANDY & COMPANY]
Tomorrow night!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
NOOOOOOOO!
[SPONGEBOB, SANDY & PERKINS]
No control!
I can't believe I've no control!
It's all deranged!
I can't believe I've no control!
It's all deranged!
Deranged!
Deranged!
[ALL]
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
I don't understand why everyone is so worried. Sure, that volcano might destroy everything. But on the other hand... it might not.
[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
When are you gonna learn, SpongeBob? The world is a horrible place filled with fear, suffering and despair. Also dashed hopes, shattered dreams, broken promises and abject misery.
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
But it's our horrible place with the best abject misery there is! They'll see, everything is under control. Right?
[PERCH PERKINS]
No fish knows the future,
Not a single shark or sole.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
Don't you think you're being a little negative?
[PERCH PERKINS]
The town is under curfew,
The fish-police are on patrol.
It's all deranged.
No control…
[SQUIDWARD]
Stuck here at home,
But I'm not upset.
An evening alone
With my clarinet!
[PATRICK]
This could take a while,
So I should relax.
But the stores are all closed,
And I'm out of snacks! (Out of snacks!)
[COMPANY]
No control!
[SPONGEBOB]
La la la la la la la la-
[SANDY, spoken]
SpongeBob, what are you doing out of your pineapple? Everyone's supposed to be inside!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
It's going to be fine, Sandy. The Mayor said she'll handle it. And everyone knows, you can always trust the government.
[SANDY, spoken]
Well... I've got news hot off the griddle. I did some calculations, and that volcano is gonna erupt, as sure as a rhinestone cowboy at a disco rodeo. I figured out when, too. It's gonna happen at sundown tomorrow!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
OK, Sandy, but I don't think...
[SANDY, spoken]
I'm serious as a guacamole shortage at a taco party! I determined a timeline through analysis of... seismic activity, gas emissions, geomagnetic and gravimetric changes. Over the next 36 hours, tremors will increase and boulders will fall, eventually leading to a cataclysmic eruption which will completely destroy Bikini Bottom! The End...is nigh.
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
The end-end?
[SANDY]
The science is clear,
I'm afraid it's true.
The end's really here!
There's nothing we can do.
And if I read these numbers right,
Our time is up
Tomorrow night!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
Tomorrow?
[SANDY & COMPANY]
Tomorrow night!
[SPONGEBOB, spoken]
NOOOOOOOO!
[SPONGEBOB, SANDY & PERKINS]
No control!
I can't believe I've no control!
It's all deranged!
Deranged!
Deranged!
[ALL]
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[clock ticking]
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!