Prevenge

Random Transformers are plucked from across the multiverse by a mysterious enemy with an indistinct plan for indeterminate revenge on unrelated victims.

Synopsis

In Griffin Rock, Blades is holding down the fort at the Rescue Bots' command center. Though he grumbles about being left on his own, he appreciates the peace and quiet... right up until a bizarre portal suddenly appears and sucks him in. Landing with a thump in a dark metal corridor in an unknown location, Blades soon finds that he has company when he is met by Snarl, a bad-tempered Dinobot from another dimension, who has also been mysteriously abducted. Weapons emerge from the corridor walls, and Snarl encourages Blades to join him in hacking them up, while the Rescue Bot protests that just because he's named "Blades", it doesn't mean he owns any swords.

Elsewhere in the multiverse, on the starship Lost Light, Ultra Magnus is taking Tailgate through yet another excruciatingly boring lesson on the Autobot Code. Realizing that the little Autobot-in-training has dozed off, Magnus rouses him and begins chastizing him, at which point he too is sucked away into a vortex. Arriving in another dark corridor, Magnus finds himself paired up with Ravage, whose uncharacteristically perky demeanor allows the law-bot to easily deduce that he hails from a negative-polarity universe. Ravage's antics quickly prove more than Magnus can bear, but "fortunately", autocannons soon appear to start firing on them as well.

Meanwhile, in another time and place, Spychangers Hot Shot and Ironhide attempt to stop the boastful Decepticon Wind Sheer from attacking a breakfast cereal packing plant, where he hopes to find an O-Part hidden in one of the specially-marked boxes. The two are held back by an avalanche of shredded wheat, at which point the floor collapses out from under Ironhide, and he disappears into a vortex lurking below. Upon his arrival in yet another corridor, he is greeted with some bemusement by the Maximal Sonar, whose organic form causes him to mistake her for a Predacon. She dodges his over-dramatic anime attacks, and after realizing he's in a moralistic scenario warning about the dangers of prejudice, Ironhide calms down and offers to work with the annoyed Sonar to find a way out. Naturally, their way is barred by a congregation of alloygators.

Finally, in another dimension just released on DVD at last, Arcee is just about to learn the truth about Sari Sumdac's origins when she is whisked away through another portal. She almost lands on the Mini-Con Sureshock, whose overblown independent streak immediately creates a rather standoffish atmosphere between the pair. Sureshock finds she can't Powerlinx to Arcee, but it turns out to not really matter, as there are no opponents or dangers in evidence—just a door that they go through.

Some time later, the eight 'bots meet in the middle of the corridor maze. Over Sonar's protests, Ultra Magnus establishes himself as the 'bot in charge, and confused introductions between everyone follow. Though unable to see or hear them, the group soon becomes aware that they are being observed by an invisible audience; the fourth wall, Arcee deduces, is particularly thin here. Just as they are trying to get to grips with this new twist, a mysterious voice suddenly addresses the 'bots, the unseen speaker revealing himself to be the architect of their present situation, all because he hates the Autobots. Blades, Ravage, and Sonar try to point out that they aren't technically Autobots, but the voice is having none of it, and invites them all to "play a little game". As the 'bots ready for an attack, Blades again tries to point out that he doesn't have any weapons, but it soon becomes a moot point, as the voice's promised "Sharkticon horde" turns out to be just one, sickly specimen with rust rash. Suitably embarrassed, the voice instead tries to get the Transformers to fight to the death: Snarl is okay with the idea, Sureshock keeps flip-flopping because she doesn't want to agree with anyone, and Blades is just baffled and horrified in general by the idea of physically battling someone. The voice claims he has a Dark Energon bomb primed to go off if they refuse, but Arcee, with a little help from a confused Magnus, bluffs him into allowing them into an "Ancient Autobot pre-battle huddle" so they can come up with some ideas to escape and end the silliness. After some deliberation, they conclude they have been written into a corner, at which point the fourth wall completely collapses and the audience comes into view. The team turns to look with annoyance at the story's writers, demanding to know how they're supposed to get out of this ridiculous situation; one of them encourages them to turn to the next page in their scripts, but as they're busy doing so, he bolts from the room at high speed. Nonetheless, the next page of script does contain the answer, and they carry on acting it out...

Taking stock of their resources, the 'bots realise that there are no scientists among them, in what seems like a deliberate omission on their mysterious host's part. Using the experience he has had with mad scientists as a guideline, Blades fakes some scientific gobbledegook that convinces the villain his bomb is going to malfunction and destroy them all—forcing the voice to admit he doesn't even have a bomb. Exasperated, the enigmatic villain reveals himself to be the Skuxxoid—though only Snarl recognizes him, forcing Sureshock to quickly consult TFWiki.Net in order to fill everyone else in. The alien explains that he was seeking revenge against the Transformers for being constantly dismissed; Magnus assumes he was _targeting random 'bots so that things would not be traced back to him, but the Skuxxoid sheepishly admits that, no, it was because the home-made transporter he bought on the Internet didn't come with instructions. Arcee tries to show the Skuxxoid some compassion, asking him name, but the reptilian has gone by "the Skuxxoid" for so long, he can't actually remember. Tired of the talking, Snarl grabs the alien and punts him over the horizon.

The "threat" removed, everyone tries to figure out how to get home. Sonar realizes that wherever they are, it's a place that operates on laws that are inherently ridiculous and contrived, and Ironhide hits on a solution: all the cartoons his human friend Koji watches reach a happy ending when everyone stands around and laugh at a dumb joke, so the group tentatively tries it out...

...and Ultra Magnus appears back on the Lost Light! He finds he's only been gone for six seconds, and makes Tailgate vow that they never speak of his disappearance again.

Back on Griffin Rock, Blades reappears, though he can't help but feel that his adventure was missing some kind of character-building moral lesson at its end. He concludes that the lesson is that sometimes, weird stuff just happens... a lesson proven true by the sudden appearance of Ravage, who wishes everyone a happy 30th anniversary!

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Quotes

Ultra Magnus: "Now, on to regulation 38-86-B, long-form application for the requisition of weaponized cybertronic livestock... Tailgate? Tailgate!"
Tailgate: "Gah! Wh- I’m sorry Ultra Magnus, I seem to have blacked out for reasons that I cannot possibly fathom. Maybe I should go have Ratchet run a scan, I’ll be right b-"
Ultra Magnus: "Oh no you don’t! This is important information you need to know if you’re going to become an Autobot! How do you expect to order a dozen hen-grenades in a war zone if you don’t know how to fill out the proper forms?!"
Tailgate: "I hope I never have to find out."
Ultra Magnus: "You’re three klicks behind enemy lines, the only source of ordinance is a nearby robochicken farm, and its owner is demanding your credentials! What are you going to do, soldier? Hope your problems just get sucked away into a convenient dimensional vortex?"
(Vortex opens opens, sucking Magnus in)
Ultra Magnus: "This doesn’t get you out of homewooorrrkkkk..."

"I really hope those missiles of yours don’t fire friendship or some such nonsense."

—Ultra Magnus on Ravage's armament

"I’m Arcee. Former teacher, current sword-haver. No one’s tardy to MY classes. Well, okay, usually, I introduce myself with, "Hello, I’m Arcee, and I’m... The Girl," but here I might finally have a conversation that passes the Bechdel Test."

—Arcee introduces herself to Sureshock

Ultra Magnus: "You there!"
Snarl: "Oh great. Authority figure."
Blades: "Oh, wonderful! An authority figure!"

Blades: "Fight to the death? That doesn’t even make sense! You can’t get so angry with family or coworkers that you just drop dead. Or can you? That sounds awful! New plan, no one do that!"
Ironhide: "Kid... he means fight as in battle. With guns and fists and swords."
Snarl: "Me Snarl let Blades borrow Snarl’s sword."
Blades: "What?! Why would you do that?"
Menacing voice: "To resolve conflict! Pay attention!"
Blades: "That’s a funny way to learn a valuable lesson about responsibility and teamwork!"

Skuxxoid: "I did it. I did it all!"
All: (gasp)
Ultra Magnus: "It's..."
Sonar: "A lizardy pig-man in a belly shirt?"
Ironhide: "An orc with a skin condition?"
Blades: "The evil sorcerer Ganon! That explains everything! Does anyone have a silver arrow?"

Arcee: "So.. what is your name?"
Skuxxoid: "Uh... Steve- no, no. Err... Thhhhhheloneous, no… I remember! THEODORE, Theodore P. Skuxxoid? Does that sound right?"

Notes

• The cast:
  • Parvesh Cheena: Blades, Wind Sheer
  • Hal Rayle: Snarl, Skuxxoid
  • Jack Angel: Ultra Magnus
  • Susan Blu: Arcee, Tailgate
  • Morgan Lofting: Ravage
  • Michael McConnohie: Ironhide, Hot Shot
  • Samantha Newark: Sonar, Sureshock
• Characters mentioned but not seen include: Heatwave, Cody, Graham, Kade, Sweeps, other Dinobots, Ratchet, Magnus' Ravage, Ravage's Ultra Magnus, Sonar's Ironhide, Sari Sumdac, Jim Lee, everybody else's version of an Ironhide, Sureshock's Requiem Blaster, Primus, and Koji.

Transformers references

• As usual with these BotCon script readings, some light ribbing of Transformers media takes place:
  • Blades is confused by the violence all the others are so-willing to partake in.
  • The scene on the Robots in Disguise world has a strange, wacky scheme from Wind Sheer involving a cereal packing planet, and he spouts off Digimon dub-style bad puns. Ironhide notes it isn't the weirdest one he's seen this week.
  • Ironhide shouts his attacks as he did in the Robots in Disguise cartoon, much to the confusion of Sonar.
  • Before being sucked away, Arcee was being told by Sari Sumdac of her super-secret origins which hadn't been revealed due to Animated ending, and still hasn't been told to this day.
  • Arcee comments on Sureshock's Dreamwave-derived over-detailing, prompting Sureshock to comment on Arcee's "minimalist detailing, odd angles, and lack of a nose."
  • And, on an extra meta note, everybody gets sent home by laughing at the end.
  • Blades is disappointed he didn't learn a character-building message.
• While lamenting the absence of other characters, Blades specifically namechecks Heatwave, Cody, Graham, and Kade Burns, growing progressively more irritated at their absence—all characters whose actors had been present at BotCon for a Rescue Bots panel earlier in the day, but who had left in the interim.
• When being abducted by the portal, Blades lets out a monotonous "aaaa," a meta-joke about "dull surprise", which plagued the Dreamwave-era of Transformers comics.
• Snarl notes he was "smashing Sweeps" when he was spirited away, perhaps a reference to the character's barely-detectable presence in The Transformers: The Movie, in which he appears during a battle with the Sweeps at Autobot City, then vanishes for almost the entire remainder of the film.
• Blades finds the notion of an Autobot turning into a dinosaur unbelievable, a crack at the upcoming Rescue Bots toys and episodes which grant the show's characters dinosaur alternate modes.
• Ultra Magnus started teaching Tailgate classes on the Autobot Code in More than Meets the Eye #5.
• Ultra Magnus states during his lecture on regulations that under certain circumstances, you can fire in the presence of civilians, so long as 58% of them are wearing hard hats, a crack at the original The Transformers cartoon, and how human in the show would wear hard hats regardless of profession.
• Ravage comments that Ultra Magnus has a face; his universe's Ultra Magnus doesn't.
• Wind Sheer was a toy-only Decepticon from the Robots in Disguise line; this is his first appearance in fiction.
• Wind Sheer's looking for an O-Part in a cereal pack plant; O-Parts were the main McGuffin of the Robots in Disguise cartoon.
• The script uses the two-word spelling of "Spy Changer" that was only used on the packaging of 2002–2003 KB Toys-exclusive releases of the first six Robots in Disguise Basic class Spychanger toys and on the 2004–2006 KB Toys/dollar store-exclusive Universe Spy Changers' packaging. The Robots in Disguise cartoon originally used the single-word "Spychanger" spelling (as seen in the episode title "Spychangers to the Rescue").
• Ironhide mistakes Sonar for a Predacon; all the Predacons besides Megatron in Robots in Disguise were redecos of Beast Wars Transmetal 2 toys.
• From his name, Sonar believes Ironhide ought to be an elephant, referring to Beast Wars Ironhide.
• Ironhide and Sonar go up against a corridor filled with alloygators; alloygators were originally mentioned in BotCon 2007's "Games of Deception".
• The narrator notes that Arcee's home universe has finally been released on DVD; up until that year, Animated only had its first two seasons released.
• Sureshock's independent personality originates from her bio in Dreamwave's More than Meets the Eye profile series. She seems to be the Dreamwave incarnation of Sureshock, given a remark Arcee makes about all the "little lines" she's covered with.
• Sureshock calls Arcee a "Bulk," slang for larger Transformers from Micron Legends/Armada mini-comic Linkage. She tries to powerlinx with her, only to find she doesn't have a port.
• Arcee wields swords now; her toy came with them, but she never got around to using them in the show.
• Ironhide refers to himself as a ninja, which is what he and the other Spychangers were in the original Japanese Car Robots version of his series, but which was otherwise left out of the English Robots in Disguise version.
• Blades notes that he has met two dinosaurs, referring to the pterodactyl and prehistoric fish the Rescue Bots encountered in "What Rises Above".
• The Skuxxoid's Sharkticon has rust rash, a disease originally mentioned in the Marvel The Transformers comic.
• The Skuxxoid claims to have a "Dark Energon bomb"; Dark Energon was introduced in the "Aligned" continuity.
• The Skuxxoid, as the story says, comes from the third season of The Transformers cartoon.
• Ironhide reckons that the script reading makes "less sense than that whole deal with the Buddha statue," referring to the events of Robots in Disguise episode "The Ultimate Robot Warrior".
• Sonar is miffed that she has to go back to where she was; namely, the middle of an explosion, as seen in 3H Productions Wreckers comic "Betrayal"

Real-world references

• The story takes its name from a "They Might Be Giants" song, favorites of the authors.
• Several times throughout the story, Ravage comments on events using the "Doge" meme format.
• Wind Sheer's scheme may also be a reference to the jagged metal Krusty-O that Bart Simpson inadvertently swallowed.
• Arcee blames the wrong Lee for Sureshock's overly-detailed armor: rather than Pat, she figures it's Jim's fault. Jim Lee had picked up a reputation for covering things with unnecessary "little lines" after he redesigned many DC Comics superhero costumes for the New 52 reboot a few years prior.
• Sureshock's depiction in this story (written with input from David Willis) takes some inspiration from Willis' character Malaya Eugenio, from Shortpacked! and Dumbing of Age.
• Arcee hopes her conversation with Sureshock will finally allow her to past the Bechdel test.
• When the Skuxxoid invites the 'bots to "play a little game", Ironhide is reminded of three things: "thermonuclear war" (a reference to the movie WarGames), "the application of a hacksaw to an ankle" (as in the movie Saw), and "really annoying cell phone ads" (the Verizon ads on Blip, which was a web series platform used by, among other things, writers Sepelak and Troop's own show, The Isle Of Rangoon).
• Ironhide believed the Suxxoid was an Orc with a skin condition. Orcs are sometimes depicted in fiction as humanoids with faces resembling those of pigs or boars.
• Blades believed the Skuxxoid is Ganon, porcine antagonist of The Legend of Zelda video game series, and hopes someone has a Silver Arrow to best him with.
• Sureshock consults this wiki to find out who the Skuxxoid is.
• The Skuxxoid claims he got his dimensional transporter off of Etsy.

Other trivia

• Hal Rayle plays the Skuxxoid, due to the generally agreed on belief that he voiced the Skuxxoid in the third season of The Transformers. A few years later, however, internal documents from Marvel Productions would reveal that Corey Burton was the one who played the character.

External links

• "Prevenge" live recording on Dailymotion