Uju Asika

Very readable; a good intro to those just beginning anti-racism work, but equally engaging and valuable to those who are already doing this work and want to raise their kids to be anti-racist too. The author is a Black British woman, equally at home in London or Nigeria, and she includes plenty of relevant information for those in the States.

Quotes

"There is no such thing as other people's children." -Russian proverb (1)

The problem with a color-blind approach is that it silences any meaningful conversation around race. It leaves some of us tongue-tied and the rest of us feeling invisible. When you teach your child that everyone is equal, you minimize the struggles of minorities and disadvantaged people all over the world. When you tell your child that we are all the same, regardless of skin or background or heritage, you erase an important part of my identity. (19)

There is no such thing as race....The biological evidence for distinct human races doesn't exist. What we think of as race is...a social construct. (33)

Raising Race Conscious Children (Sachi Feris)

Studies show people who can put painful experiences into narrative are more likely to get through without long-term trauma. (65)

Racism has been shown to be one of the leading causes of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in young people. (70)

"You cannot fix what you will not face." -James Baldwin (77)

...remind your child to stop, look, and listen in any encounter, just as they would before they cross the road. Teach your child to be mindful of the words they use. (90)

The word exotic might be said as a compliment, but it can feel dehumanizing - like comparing someone to a rare bird or flower. It's code for different, strange, foreign. (104)

"Tradition is peer pressure from dead people." (108)

Our lack of knowledge about who we are and where we come from continues to destabilize...everyone. How can we learn from past mistakes if we're afraid of looking back with open eyes? (115)

TED Talk - Brian Oshiro - ask a series of "why" questions, then "how" (122)

There is no such thing as an easy name. There is no such thing as a difficult name. There are only names you have taken the time to enunciate...what matters is that you try. (184)

We need other people's stories as much as our own. (208)

I teach my kids to look at who is telling the story, who they are trying to reach, and who is left out. What would the story look like if someone else was the hero or the villain? (213)

Stories are transformative. And there is nothing more powerful than the story we tell ourselves about who we are. (216)

Living in an ethnically diverse community has been shown to increase cultural sensitivity, reduce prejudice, and broaden social networks....living in racially diverse neighborhoods actually makes you a kinder human being. (226)

Change is inevitable, and it's important to teach our kids how to welcome change while having an appreciation for what once was. (232)

Ultimately, an ally is a friend who pays attention and helps make things fairer. (268)

Niceness is an act, whereas kindness takes action. (286)… (more)