K.F. Breene

I thought the first book in the series, [b:Magical Midlife Madness|51385818|Magical Midlife Madness (Leveling Up #1)|K.F. Breene|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1581966246l/51385818._SY75_.jpg|75461078], quite cute. The premise is that a woman is at odds after divorcing and her only son going off to college, so when she inherits a house out of the blue in a small California town, she thinks, ‘why not?’ The eccentric butler and gardener only add to the appeal. As she uncovers the mysteries of the house, she discovers she is spiritual heir to its magic and the plot revolves around discovering and accepting that magic and a new life.

However, the sequel is entirely content to backtrack and recycle, first by suddenly giving us a main character that goes from embracing independence and a new way of living (hello, magic metaphor!) to one that is focused on dating. I'm not sure how we got here, because that wasn't really the mental focus of the last book, which left her and the reader preparing for a magical attack. She compounds this with stupid decision-making, by deciding it would be appropriate to date non-magical people (‘Dicks,’ of ‘Dick and Jane’ fame, ha. ha.) and take them to the magical-people bar (logic escapes me). Presumably unable to think of a new UF-style plot (despite prior groundwork), Breene decides to recycle ‘accept the magic’ premise of discovering and accepting her supposed ability to fly.

Ugh. While I know I was experiencing QB™ the first book, I didn’t think I had it that bad. Madness was sweet, it held attention (mostly) and I didn’t skim (mostly). This, however, was just… same ol’, same ol’ mass-market, dingy-girl-woman looks for date. Think Stephanie Plum, book 19, only with less elements of what made the first good.

Despite having been ’empowered’ enough in book one to keep her ‘midlife’ body, she did take the rejuvenation moment to tighten up some saggy bits and remove some cellulite, so we’re treated to lots of hot-mama oogling/dressing up scenes here (she’s also kind of a self-righteous twit because she didn’t make her vampire minion any younger). Oh, it’s so empowering to date like this! Her Carebear™ non-boyfriend does lots of flexing, growling and advice-giving when he sees her, so we get the whole alpha male scene, tempered with Breene’s point that Jessie’s magic is equally strong.

But Jessie remains just dumb here–really, the whole premise of dating when she’s head of a magical nexus that the magical universe is salivating over?–and if there’s one thing that annoys me, it’s setting up your plot based on your heroine not being security conscious. (Talk about privilege!) There's multiple instances where she does 'instinctual' magical shout-outs for ‘help’--so stupid-- and the trust the group placed in the respondees was questionable. Honestly, I was waiting for at least one to be a double-agent. Incidentally, all of the magical learning becomes hand-wavy 'instinct,' with an occasional reference to a confusing book the vampire is translating (don't even try and figure that one out).

What I did like was the non-Bigfoot creature who was more than a little obsessed with flowers. That was pretty much the most redeeming character. Everything else, passable to lame. Oh, and for those that actually want dating and sex–there were no happy-sexy times here. Just ugh.

Hey, good news! I guess I recovered from Quarantine Brain™!

One and a half stars, rounding up strictly because of the rating system, and the need to distinguish this from the truly one-star, throw-across-the-room reads.… (more)

I really don't think it's QuarantineBrain™, but if you try and say it's Peri-menopause Brain, I will come over and beat you with an old shoe. This is the most satisfying CandyRead I've had in days, perhaps weeks. Almost as if I've been trapped in my house, unable to hit the vending machine at work for a Twix bar (I'm exaggerating; the hospital would never put chocolate bars in the vending machines. I have to get them from the Leukemia Fundraiser bucket).

The premise is simple: our heroine, Jacinta, has recently, somewhat relievedly, become divorced after sending her only son off to college. Casting about for what to do next, she temporarily moves into her parent's place, only to discover they've become even more eccentric. When a job offer at a mysterious mansion comes through her bestie, she leaps at it, even though it's in rural, wine-tasting country where she doesn't know anyone. She finds herself feeling connected to the mansion, although the three geriatric weirdo caretakers that come with it can be a bit much. Although little does our heroine know just how weird their history is:

"They’d crush skulls and blast… See, that was the thing. It had been so long, she couldn’t even remember all the violence she used to enact. What exactly would she blast once she’d dealt with the skulls? They’d be dead, case closed. Anything more would be overkill. Might as well pop a beer and have a victory chat instead."

The narrator's voice feels entertaining, if a bit daffy and perhaps a little bit self-involved with the state of the midlife flesh. Not that I have the same thoughts, mind you. But she's quite funny with the commentary, which I totally haven't said either:

"Soon I'd get my diet under control—no more binging cookies right before bed—and then I’d be a rock star. I could do this! Okay, not as many cookies before bed. A lady had to live."

If you don't mind it feeling at times a bit ...over-connected to 'Clean Sweep' with a woman and a magical house, you'll probably love it. There's a ton of humor, the heroine has a delightful sense of herself, and the world-building is acceptable, with just enough difference from the Andrews' series to be palatable (in particular, I like that it avoids the sci-fi angle).

The romantic interest is well done. Our heroine is self-confident and not angling to jump into a relationship, as is the possible romantic partner. Because it's so back-burner, I'd hesitate to call this a paranormal romance, though clearly that's part of the story-line. But it's solidly done, with mature talking-out and sharing instead of stomping off and drama.

"Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’ve given you all the information I have. You seem like a smart lady and this is your life. You’ll do what you need to. I just ask that you remember the town. The people here are good people. They deserve a fair shake, like you do.”

I can't tell you how rare that feels in a book with romance--I think almost all of the ones I've read recently had the classic misunderstanding/run-away situation, so it's all the more refreshing when it doesn't. I also appreciate the moments when Jessie notes that she needs to handle situations herself, not depend on others to get her out. It's a fine balance of individualism and team.

Oh, and remember how I complained about the 'accidentally drunk' trope in another book? It happens here, and it's really well done. It's funny as hell, especially with the rocks.

There are more than a couple of midlife runners here, but not so many that they became annoying. Mostly Jessie likes her middle-aged self, and doesn't want to trade it in for a younger version, even when that might be a possibility, which makes the joking tolerable. Although I had to chuckle at the last one:

"Then ran around them. Then hopped up and down. And tinkled myself a little. “Damn it!” I balled up my fists. “I forgot to ask about not peeing myself in everyday situations! That’s crap. That should’ve been a given.”

Just you wait, ladies. And men, don't snicker. Mother Nature gave you prostates.

*******
2023 Update: Oh yeah, definitely QuarantineBrain™. I mean, the voice feels like a terribly superficial and breezy forty-year old, or like how a twenty-eight year-old imagines a forty year-old might sound. Maybe. Once you ignore the tearless divorce, it's still a lot of fun.… (more)