Martial (040–104)

Martial VI.60
Laudat, amat, cantat nostros mea Roma libellos,
meque sinus omnes, me manus omnis habet.
Ecce rubet quidam, pallet, stupet, oscitat, odit.
Hoc volo: Nunc nobis carmina nostra placent.

Liber I, 33
Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare:
Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te.

II.38
quid mihi reddat ager quaeris, Line, Nomentanus?
hoc mihi reddit ager: te, Line, non video.

III.53 Ad Chloen, a qua abstinere se potuisse dicit.
Et vultu poteram tuo carere,
Et collo, manibusque cruribusque,
Et mammis, natibusque clunibusque:
Et, ne singula persequi laborem,
Tota te poteram, Chloë, carere.

VIII.69 In Vacerram, qui solos poetas mortuos laudabat
Miraris veteres, Vacerra, solos,
Nec laudas nisi mortuos poetas.
Ignoscas petimus, Vacerra: tanti
Non est, ut placeam tibi, perire.

VII, 29
Das Cattis, das Germanis, das, Caelia, Dacis:
Nec Cilicum spernis, Cappadocumque toros:
Et tibi de Pharia Memphiticus urbe fututor,
Navigat a rubris et niger Indus aquis:
Nec recutitorum fugis inguina Judaeorum,
Nec te Sarmatico transit Alanus equo.
Qua ratione facis, cum sis Romana puella,
Quod Romana tibi mentula nulla placit?… (more)

You have to love martial; offering glimpses into daily life in ancient Rome with his witty, and often scathing and obscene epigrams.

I read the OWC edition translated by Dr. Gideon Nisbet which is immensely readable and entertaining.

The publishing team released a very informative & entertaining playlist of short interviews with him about his translation which serves as a great introduction to Martial's life & times which can be found here:

rel="nofollow" _target="_top">https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY2GBapteg3nSigwX9KOzBb4YFYnGeYQ6

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Here is a really beautiful epigram which shows a very different side of Martial which is, unfortunately, not included in this selection

—Book X, Epigram 47

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A few of my favourites...

"...No puffery gets near my little books; my Muse doesn't swell and strut in the trailing robe of Tragedy. 'but that stuff gets all the applause, the awe, the worship.' I can't deny it: that stuff does get the applause. But my stuff gets read." - 4.49

"Antonius Primus is happy: he has tallies fifteen completed Olympiads in a life untroubled. He can look back at the days gone by, at the years he has banked; the waters of Lethe draw closer, but he does not fear them. None of his days fails to please, or is hard to bear, as he reviews it in memory; every last one is a pleasure to recall. The good man broadens himself the span of his years: to be able to enjoy the life you have spent, is to live it twice." - 10.23

"You wonder why Marius' ear smells bad. You're making it smell, Nestor: you keep talking shit into it." - 3.28

"Want to know how skinny your arse is, Sabellus? It's so skinny you can fuck people in the arse with it." 3.98

"When you step across the threshold of a marked-up cubicle, whether your hard-on's for a boy or a girl, you're never happy with doors and a curtain and a bolt; you demand greater secrecy. If there's the smallest crack you don't like the look of, or a tiny hole bored by a voyeur's pin, it's plastered over. No one is so fastidious or so anxious about appearances who just fucks arses or pussies, Cantharus." - 11.45… (more)