Domenica Ruta

so, i think there's a fine line to the art of a good memoir. especially from a writer who is not very well-known. on one side: a writer who has had experiences that suck and emerges triumphant (or some reasonable facsimile thereof). on the other side: a story driven by ego. rather than just having to get a story out of them, an ego-driven memoir is almost glad in it's 'look how awful this was for me'. 'i win at worst life ever.' and that's tough to read. there's actually a moment in the book when, while working on her MFA and out drinking with classmates, they compete over worst life ever. ruta notes: who wants to win that game? no one. but she kinda does. it wasn't until the very last page that my decision on how i felt about this story settled over me. i didn't like it. but that's more a stylistic issue and totally not a reflection on the sucktastic life ruta had. what redeemed the story - her admission of egotism. i was glad it was there.

it's a tough and sad story, to be sure, but i couldn't get into a good rhythm with the read. it's jumpy. the flow is off-putting but i am aware this could be the point given the subject matter. but i recently read [b:Drunk Mom: A Memoir|15799161|Drunk Mom A Memoir|Jowita Bydlowska|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1363265086s/15799161.jpg|21522126] - it's a far superior memoir. i was completely absorbed and engaged in [a:Jowita Bydlowska|6459301|Jowita Bydlowska|http://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1361814732p2/6459301.jpg]'s story. [b:With or Without You|15782709|With or Without You|Domenica Ruta|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1345749357s/15782709.jpg|21499356] just didn't pull me in in the same way and while the book ended up being 'fine', it wasn't impactful in any meaningful way. i have huge empathy for [a:Domenica Ruta|6454503|Domenica Ruta|http://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1361814302p2/6454503.jpg] and thank darwin she is so damn smart (taught herself russian cryllic in grade four? hello!!). her smarts gave her school opportunities that got her out of her wretched home environments. but at the end, i was left wondering what was the point of the book? there's so many books flooding the 'misery lit' nonfiction market. each tale worse than the one before it. but to me, there still needs to be a purpose beyond 'i survived'. (which is a totally huge deal - please don't get me wrong. i realize that.) it's just that another tale of 'i survived' makes it no more distinct than any other book in this genre.… (more)

This was a very difficult book to read because it was very raw and emotional and made you think about addiction, abuse, and neglect, but that's what made it so good. Having grown up with some of these same issues, it brought a lot back that I wasn't prepared for, but that's not a bad thing. A good book should make you feel something, whether something good or something bad is up to each person's own experiences, and this book did that for me. There was a whole lot of "there but for the grace of God," let me tell you.

Highly recommend - 4 out of 5 stars.

*** I would like to thank NetGalley, Random House Publishing Group and Domenica Ruta for the opportunity to read and review this book.… (more)