With the benefit of hindsight, it was a mistake to read a novel about the misery of chronic pain caused by endometriosis while having a painful period. ‘Please Read this Leaflet Carefully’ is evocative and visceral enough to make me paranoid that my periods could one day become that bad. Mercifully they aren’t, but they make me feel like shit for a few days a month and I am a hypochondriac. If you have periods that you hate, don’t read this during one of them as it will not help with morale. Nonetheless, I recommend ‘Please Read this Leaflet Carefully’ as it is an excellent novel on a topic very often brushed aside in literature. It was the title that initially drew my attention, a phrase repeated on every medication to the point of meaninglessness. Although the book is fiction, I cannot help but suppose it is based at least in part on personal experience. Despite the bald statement ‘This is a work of fiction,’ on the copyright page, I found it shelved with non-fiction in the library.

The narrative proceeds backwards in time, tracing the life of Laura Fjellstad and showing how it has been shaped by chronic illness. It’s an interesting and original choice to go backwards in this way and works rather well. I thought the inclusion of little ice skating descriptions did not add much, however I found the first person voice moving and powerful. Havelin conveys the intricacies of living with intractable pain in deceptively simple phrases:

Even as I get through the week and the pain slowly eases, I can’t stop thinking of how things could go wrong. The fragile structures of our hopes and how unnecessarily thoroughly they’re struck down. Our dreams could be wrecked a lot more easily anyway, with just a change in the air and light. The smallness of what we need - one more day of safety, another day of touching and talking to the people in our lives as if we have all the time in the world.

The writing style conveys embodiedness, and the suffering this can entail, exceptionally well. I recall a Guardian review seeming a little baffled that the book is just about pain. Yet that is a complex and fascinating topic to write about, one that Havelin does justice to. I particularly appreciated her depiction of anger - which had a markedly similar tone to [b:The New Me|36342706|The New Me|Halle Butler|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1536181573l/36342706._SY75_.jpg|58022687]:

I just need one problem to be solved, or at least have its skin broken before I can deal with the rest. Instead, more and more weigh down on me. I just need one good day to sit down, put them on the table, and look at them separately, with a clear eye and solve each problem like a puzzle, maybe even find something that could help several at once. Something that won’t make the digestive problems worse, that won’t make me throw up, or feel dizzier or give me headaches, because all those symptoms are past capacity.

There must be something I can do, some sort of penitence, or level of enlightenment I can ascend to. I can give up ever eating anything tasty again, no problem, eating has already become a chore for nine months. I can exercise and take every kind of vitamin, mineral, or supplement under the sun. I can do without working, without going out, drinking, even without friends. [...]

If only I didn’t have to take quite so many painkillers, I could think a little straighter and find a way to live with it. If only I could sleep. If only I could have one doctor-free day. If only I didn’t have to spend all my energy on dressing, showering, keeping food down, getting the minimum done. If I didn’t have to get these injections that sit like an enormous wasp’s sting under the skin, if I could at least take medications that didn’t worsen each other’s side effects, as if someone had worked it out like that on purpose. If only I could think clearly for five minutes.

As an accompaniment to this sense of being in an untrustworthy body, Havelin demonstrates the difficulties of communication with healthy people, who may be sympathetic in theory but can easily be carelessly callous. I can’t recall any other literary fiction dealing with this theme so adeptly. 'Please Read this Leaflet Carefully' is readable and compelling throughout. The blurb recommends reading it all in one go and I concur. ( )