I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I read this. I love weddings and have been in wedding withdrawal since my own wedding last year. I also frequent the nest/knot boards daily ( that's even how I found goodreads).

That being said, I'm not sure that I got much that I didn't already know about the wedding industry. Nothing was really shocking, eye-opening or interesting. If you are a knottie, than I say skip this. You'll get way more and better info hanging out on the message boards. For the uninitiated, you might enjoy this foray into another world much better. ( )

As someone who hates the fanfare and commercialism surrounding modern weddings, I found this book to be fascinating. ( )

Hilarious, illuminating account of the Wedding Industrial Complex. It's at its best when Mead quotes the endless businesspeople who see getting more money as a game they can win by milking people's emotions at what should be a spiritually significant time. All the ordinary motivations of capitalism are revealed in their full ickiness.

She's sometimes snarkier or less sympathetic than seems warranted. As funny as her voice is, sometimes I wanted less of it and more of her subjects' -- especially when they're ordinary people having a wedding rather than bigshot misogynist taste-makers. The book also suffers from its timing; same-sex marriage was legalized in MA during her research process and in the US 8 years after publication, so the idea that weddings don't always have a bride and a groom appears only as a somewhat awkward note in her epilogue that makes the whole thing feel a little dated.

But overall, if you are planning a wedding, or if you like behind-the-scenes investigations of an industry or subculture (I thought of [b:Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive Scrabble Players|8954|Word Freak Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive Scrabble Players|Stefan Fatsis|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1442766196s/8954.jpg|3163711]), this will give you a lot to both laugh and think about. ( )

Last year, I took part in the wedding of one of my childhood-college friends, a person I have always considered to be level-headed, practical and generally a good person. That was before I found myself in a $500 dollar bridesmaid dess ($284 for the dress, $235 for the alterations), standing in 3-inch navy blue sandals ($55), listening to a minister drone on about the power of different kinds of love. That was also before I found myself giving her three separate parties: a bachelorette party, a lingerie party and a bridal shower ... all of which I was expected to provide gifts for, as well as pay for and plan (luckily many of the other guests chipped in on some of these activities). It was with all of this in mind that I picked up One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding, by Rebecca Mead, at Bookberries, a small independent bookstore on Lexington Avenue.

Mead sets out in her prologue that she is not writing a book about Bridezillas. Instead, she posits that it is the consumer-driven nature of weddings that drives and feeds the Bridezilla phenomenon, and it is this aspect of marriage that she choses to explore in her book. Each chapter deals with a different aspect of weddings, from bridal registries to choosing a dress, to choosing a minister, and discusses the way that these are symptomatic of particular aspects of American life in general.

My two favorite chapters in this book were the chapter on wedding dresses and the chapter on the selection of an officiant. In the wedding dress chapter, Mead begins with the purchase of wedding dresses and the rituals that surround this. She disucsses the idea that many women are looking for a dress the resonates with them - that will make them a princess in a poofy white dress starring in her big production - and the way that bridal stores give the illusion that each dress with come, one of a kind, specific for each woman. Then Mead goes to the factories in China where these "one-of-a-kind" dresses are made.

In the chapter about officiants, she talks about the idea that weddings are often no longer traditional religious ceremonies and couples look for ways to impart a sense of uniqueness on the ceremony. She watches a wedding officiated by a new-age minister. As part of the ceremony, the couple has an apache wedding prayer and a candle ceremony. She tries to track down the origination of these traditions and finds that the candle ceremony was instigated by greeting card companies and the so-called "apache" wedding prayer is from the movie "Broken Arrows". She also talks about the fact that anyone can become a wedding officiant by completing a course over the internet. Anyone can get a certificate (for a fee of five dollars) giving you the title of, "Cardinal, Lama, Guru, Friar, Reverend Mother, Swami, Magus, Dervish, High Preistess, Druid, Monk, Baron, Apostle of Humility, Martyr, Goddess, Angel and Saint (p138)."

Brides are encouraged to consume by all sorts of different industries. Mead cites a wedding survery that looked at the spending habits of engaged and single women. The survey found that engaged women spent more than single women on tanning sessions, diet paraphernalia, personal training, cosmetics, tooth whiteners, matching bedding sets, towels and a number of other things. The only things that single people routinely spent more money on were hair dye and pagers. Mead says, "The picture of the unattached life evoked by the survey is not a happy one: lonely nights passed between mismatched sheets, after evenings spent in the bathroom with a bottle of Miss Clairol, waiting for a beep on the pager (p118)."

It would take forever to discuss all of the funny, interesting insights in this book. Suffice to say, it was well worth the read even at hardcover prices. ( )

Mead is a smart narrator and a thorough researcher. Her witty voice makes what could be a dry subject entertaining and bubbly. Moreover, Mead refrains from critiquing weddings as a whole. What she is after is the thoughtless pursuit, by both the wedding industry and engaged couples, of the ideal wedding day. What, Mead asks, are we truly buying when we buy embossed napkins and sachets of rice and Godiva chocolate wedding cake favors? And, is there a better, a more productive way, to find what we are looking for? The answers are well-considered and, generally, compassionate. I do have to say that I found the epilogue, which addresses gay marriage (and to some degree the marketplace around those marriages) to be a contrived add-on that generalizes about same-sex couples and their level of commitment and that is a poorly-disguised attempt for Mead to insert politics into her text. But, that aside, the book is definitely a pleasure to read. ( )

http://thenovelworld.com/2012/01/11/one-perfect-day-rebecca-mead-review/ ( )

I am thoroughly enjoying this book. Granted, I was looking for exactly this type of book while planning my (and my fiancés) own wedding. We fall into what Mead calls the "nontraditional bride/groom" in that we aren't buying into the Wedding Industry Complex, but actually being more traditional than most of the "average" weddings today.

I was really interested in this book for the historical look at how we have come to the state we are in now with the Wedding Industry. It has also highlighted some very interesting points about other aspects of present-day Western societies, and ties them into what drives the "average" modern wedding. I am no longer shocked or dismayed by the wedding planning stories I hear - as a whole we have herded ourselves into this mess one bleach-white polyester dress at a time.

Some of the book may be a little judgemental towards "American-ness" when I'm sure that Mead (being a native Briton) could have said similar things about other western societies. However, I do concede that the focus is spelled out in the title. At times I feel like we let brides become Bridzillas because it's a one-time deal, and I would like more commentary on why that's not okay, and what we can do to change this new norm.

I strongly encourage all couples (engaged, married, or none of the above) to read this and reflect on what their union truly means. ( )

I particularly liked the fact that Mead basically lays out as given both that wedding costs are out of control and that most people getting married are smart enough to realize this, and then focuses on why otherwise-rational people get sucked in regardless. Although we can list most of the 'rite of passage' aspects to weddings that no longer exist for most couples (creating the motive vacuum that the wedding industry then fills), Mead lays out more than you would come up with off the top of your head, and provides extra background. I loved the concept of 'traditionalesque.' And as with everything else these days, it turns out to be about the Millennials (I'm GenX like the author). Sometimes the snark annoyed me, but I know that's what most people like to read/hear these days. I was particularly uncomfortable with her jabs at her interviewee's personal lives, however. I've been reading her stuff for years; she knows how to be more professional than that. And it's odd that she left it up to the blurbs etc to reveal to readers that she's not herself American. I think that's an important angle. ( )

An eye-opening and re-assuring read that reveals just how much all things wedding is big business primarily _targeted towards women and how much nonsense it all is. All the individualization we do to make the day ours is part of the mass marketing. It's insane and begs the question: Why are we buying into it? I highly recommend this book to anyone, male or female, that is about to get married, has been married, or hopes to get married because I think it's a vital reality check that forces us to re-examine the choices we are making. ( )

Synopsis: Mead ends her book with the question, "What is a wedding for?" This question lurks throughout the book as she explores the imposing, and commercialized wedding industry. The author says that this industry claims to be a $160 billion industry - and one must agree when one stops to think about what a spectacle an American wedding is today. With hundreds of different enterprises and thousands of companies vying for the bride and groom's attention and persuading the couple that they must have the companies product to obtain the couple's "perfect, dream wedding." Mead tackles everything from wedding planners, engagement rings and online registries to bridal gowns from Chinese sweat-shops, the Las Vegas quickie chaples, and Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings program. The book had a slow beginning, but picked up and cemented the thoughts I already had on the wedding industry. It is an insightful book to read as I plan my wedding this year :)

Pros: the anecdotes that the author gives to support facts; the amount of the industry that the author covered and talks about
Cons: wordy and redundant ideas - not getting to the point quickly enough, and not enough anecdotes for my preference ( )

I just started reading this book and I am very glad I did! I was starting to get sucked into (my idea) of that "one perfect day" and this book snapped me out of that! ( )

Interesting information about the business of American weddings. Good content, although a bit repetitive. It seemed to be in need of more editing. Some sentences were so long, I had to go back to the beginning of the sentence to remember the subject! Also could have done with more anecdotes to flesh out her points. ( )

Part investigative journalism and part sociology thesis, this book looks into the motivations and effects of Bridezilla culture and the $160 billion American wedding industry. Mead examines not-so-authentic ideas of tradition, traces wedding dresses to factories in China, considers whether elopement is an escape from the bridal industry, and offers her own atypical wedding as an example of NOT going over the top. In a society that wants to buy fantasy, Mead suggests that the newly engaged stop and consider what a wedding is really for--before they are suckered into matching Cinderella and Prince toasting flutes. ( )

I had been so excited to read this book when it came out – the wedding industry is one of those things that simultaneously repels and fascinates me. For the most part this book did not disappoint, even though much of the information presented was not, by itself, revelatory. This is one of those books that kind of makes what you already sensed really, really clear - like you intuitively KNOW that the wedding industry markets the hell out of itself and tries to get people to spend ridiculous amounts of money on wedding-related things by appealing simultaneously to the desire to be "traditional" and the desire to be "unique" - but you don't quite realize the extent of it until you read a book like this that looks at the industry in its totality.

Mead covers the whole gamut of wedding-related things – from bridal magazines to engagement rings to the ceremonies themselves to honeymoons, at every point showing how these industries view brides-to-be as unwitting cash cows, waiting to be tapped. She interviews a huge number of people participating in every aspect of this industry, incorporating their perspectives on how what they do is essential to the creation of that “one perfect day.” For the most part, Mead reserves her criticism for the industry, not its consumers – this is not meant to be a litany of Bridezilla tales. When she talks about real brides (and grooms), she is actually quite sympathetic, empathizing with their desire to have a wedding that is unique, special, memorable, and connected to some larger tradition, even if the weddings they have and the lives they lead are in no way “traditional.”

Her examination of the manufacture of “tradition”, which is a theme that runs throughout the book, was particularly interesting. She calls it “traditionalesque” – meaning that the practice in question is meant to hearken back to a simpler, more romantic time, but is in fact something that is newly created by the couple in question, generally with the “assistance” of the wedding industry. Mead argues that because most people getting married now are sort of unmoored from actual traditions, the traditionalesque functions to make them feel that their wedding and their marriage stands on something that is bigger than themselves. This is coupled with a desire to always be “unique” and have a wedding that reflects a couple’s personality – no one wants to have their wedding compared unfavorably to another couple’s.

My only real quibble with the book is that the portion near the end about gay marriage felt really cursory and tacked on – like it wasn’t enough to make a point about the wedding industry and American consumerism, she also had to make a moral point about the larger issue of marriage. I didn’t think it was necessary and frankly, I thought it came off a little cheesy and forced.

I also wished she might have delved a little more into the economics – which I know sounds funny, given that the book is full of figures and comparisons and price tags. But she mentions several times in passing the staggering cost of today’s weddings and the trend of banks encouraging couples and families to take out home loans in order to finance a fantastic wedding that is otherwise beyond them. I would have liked to have seen a few more specific examples of this – maybe a pseudonymous interview with someone who had spent more than they could afford and felt like it wasn’t worth it. Overwhelmingly, despite the criticism of the wedding industry, it didn’t seem like Mead talked to anyone who wished they had done a smaller, less crazy wedding, even though some brides-to-be expressed exhaustion and annoyance with the planning process. The real brides-to-be that she interviewed KNEW they were being marked to and knew they were being seen as “cash cows”, but there was no one interviewed who had decided to opt out of that whole thing. Mead’s own story contained a little of that, as she described her own wedding at the very end, but I would have liked to see another alternative to participating in the crazy system she describes.

It was funny that during my reading of this book, I had two simultaneous and totally contradictory responses – the first was (as expected) that I became even more cynical and irritated by the whole big fancy wedding thing, the second (totally unexpected!) was that I found myself going “I want a big fancy wedding because if I don’t have one I will regret it forever.” Very strange…. I also discovered what kind of ring two months salary will buy me, and discovered, after viewing a number of diamond rings online, that diamonds are pretty boring-looking. ( )

This was right up my alley--a book about why we wed the way we do. Now, I'm a sensible girl, but when it was my turn to get married I went a little nutty. This book explained why. It's not, as I half-expected, a jeremiad against the wedding industry per se (although the section on videographers made me extra-extra glad we didn't have one). Rather it explains the cultural and marketing trends at work in the American wedding industry, and how one can't really hope to escape, no matter how "individual" or "unique" one thinks one's dream wedding will be. This fits a similar, though less inflammatory, niche as Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Death. A fun read for those who like the inside scoop. ( )

A timely tale of our wedding obession. The author looks at the American wedding and its class and monetary implications. I wish she would have compared America with other countries to give more context to our nuttiness. Are we alone in it? Other than the chapter about Aruba and beach weddings, there really isn't any other international perspective. Entertaining, nonetheless. ( )