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The Grief of Others

by Leah Hager Cohen

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3314982,985 (3.39)47
Fiction. Literature. HTML:The subtly powerful novel adapted into the 2015 feature film, The Grief of Others asks: is keeping a secret from a spouse always an act of infidelity? And what cost does such a secret exact on a family?

From the acclaimed author of No Book but the World and 2019's searing new novel Strangers and Cousins.

The Ryries have suffered a loss: the death of a baby just fifty-seven hours after his birth. Without words to express their grief, the parents, John and Ricky, try to return to their previous lives. Struggling to regain a semblance of normalcy for themselves and for their two older children, they find themselves pretending not only that little has changed, but that their marriage, their family, have always been intact. Yet in the aftermath of the baby's death, long-suppressed uncertainties about their relationship come roiling to the surface. A dreadful secret emerges with reverberations that reach far into their past and threaten their future.

The couple's children, ten-year-old Biscuit and thirteen-year-old Paul, responding to the unnamed tensions around them, begin to act out in exquisitely- perhaps courageously-idiosyncratic ways. But as the four family members scatter into private, isolating grief, an unexpected visitor arrives, and they all find themselves growing more alert to the sadness and burdens of others-to the grief that is part of every human life but that also carries within it the power to draw us together.

Moving, psychologically acute, and gorgeously written, The Grief of Others asks how we balance personal autonomy with the intimacy of relationships, how we balance private decisions with the obligations of belonging to a family, and how we take measure of our own sorrows in a world rife with suffering. This novel shows how one family, by finally allowing itself to experience the shared quality of grief, is able to rekindle tenderness and hope.

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» See also 47 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 49 (next | show all)
This book is very well-written, featuring realistic characters pushed to emotional extremes as they cope with a loss and learn about each other. This book can be poignant at moments, and it is a tear-jerker. Very well-done. I received this book for free from Goodreads Firstreads Giveaways. ( )
  MuuMuuMousie | Oct 16, 2024 |
Dit is zo'n boek waarbij ik van te voren dacht het prachtig te vinden. Maar ik vond het vooral langdradig. Het verhaal wordt door verschillende mensen verteld/bezien. Het speelt zich in verschillende tijden af. En hoewel de Engelstalige titel prachtig klinkt, vond ik het verhaal ontzetten voorspelbaar en vrij leeg. Er zaten soms best mooie beschrijvingen tussen, maar het bleef allemaal vooral erg vlak. Ik had gehoopt op meer. ( )
  prettygoodyear | Jun 29, 2020 |
An exploration of the ramifications of a tragedy upon a whole family told from each member's point of view. ( )
  snash | Mar 25, 2020 |
You'd think I would know from the title that this book was going to be a depressing affair. "Depressing affair" does not quite cover it.

Despite the inherent tragedies this novel discloses, I liked it. Just not that much to overlook the sadness and weird 6 train tears I shed a various times during the book. The only time 6 train tears are appropriate is when finishing Just Kids by Patti Smith. Otherwise, like in this situation, they are unacceptable. ( )
  Katie_Roscher | Jan 18, 2019 |
The problem with having a near-brilliant first five pages is that the rest of the book might not live up to it. The first five pages of this book are devastating--it really is the fastest a book has ever made me cry--and beautiful and real. But much of the rest of the book doesn't live up to it. I loved Ricky, but we don't spend much time with her; the author chooses instead to give us pages and pages with her husband John, her children Paul and Biscuit (the cutesy nickname makes me wince, but then one of my children goes by Jibbitz at home, so who am I to judge?), John's grown daughter Jess, a random passerby named Gordie. The diffuse focus weakens the book.

I really just did not give a rat's ass about Gordie. Sorry. Ultimately what I did care about was Ricky and John and their marriage. The writing of the marriage, of the various ways they fail each other, was very well-done and the best part of the book. I wish there had been more of it! The ending of the book works, despite the self-consciously literary way in which it's written. ( )
  GaylaBassham | May 27, 2018 |
Showing 1-5 of 49 (next | show all)
The Grief of Others is a complex and resonant novel, a moving exploration of the ways in which grief – perhaps especially the grief of others, which, like a distant country, is a place we know exists but can never inhabit – can twist and maim us, turning us into different, other people.
 
Leah Hager Cohen is one of our foremost chroniclers of the mundane complexities, nuanced tragedies and unexpected tendernesses of human connection.
added by chazzard | editNew York Times, Susann Cokal (Sep 15, 2011)
 
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Fiction. Literature. HTML:The subtly powerful novel adapted into the 2015 feature film, The Grief of Others asks: is keeping a secret from a spouse always an act of infidelity? And what cost does such a secret exact on a family?

From the acclaimed author of No Book but the World and 2019's searing new novel Strangers and Cousins.

The Ryries have suffered a loss: the death of a baby just fifty-seven hours after his birth. Without words to express their grief, the parents, John and Ricky, try to return to their previous lives. Struggling to regain a semblance of normalcy for themselves and for their two older children, they find themselves pretending not only that little has changed, but that their marriage, their family, have always been intact. Yet in the aftermath of the baby's death, long-suppressed uncertainties about their relationship come roiling to the surface. A dreadful secret emerges with reverberations that reach far into their past and threaten their future.

The couple's children, ten-year-old Biscuit and thirteen-year-old Paul, responding to the unnamed tensions around them, begin to act out in exquisitely- perhaps courageously-idiosyncratic ways. But as the four family members scatter into private, isolating grief, an unexpected visitor arrives, and they all find themselves growing more alert to the sadness and burdens of others-to the grief that is part of every human life but that also carries within it the power to draw us together.

Moving, psychologically acute, and gorgeously written, The Grief of Others asks how we balance personal autonomy with the intimacy of relationships, how we balance private decisions with the obligations of belonging to a family, and how we take measure of our own sorrows in a world rife with suffering. This novel shows how one family, by finally allowing itself to experience the shared quality of grief, is able to rekindle tenderness and hope.

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