Sad that I missed out on reading this book in high school! It was one of the options for our Grade 11 novel study, but I snubbed it in favour of The Catcher in the Rye, thinking that it was going to be some cutesy, quirky Canadian read. Now, I loved Catcher so no regrets there, but it would have been cool to have picked up both books since they are exploring similar themes through the perspectives of troubled teens. People love trying to invalidate Holden Caulfield’s problems because he’s a privileged white male, but it’s a lot harder to hate Nomi Nickel, a teenage girl living in a rural Mennonite community whose mother and sister have both disappeared. A Complicated Kindness explores the effects of this tight-knit but strict community, especially how the practice of shunning can lead to devastating consequences.

What surprised me the most about this book is how funny it could be at moments. The first 20 pages of Nomi introducing her community and religion especially made me laugh, although the book gets increasing sad as it continues. Nomi has an engaging narrative voice and a charming way of seeing the world, even as she deals with crippling depression and anxiety. Her father is also precious AF.

I strongly connected to each of the members of the Nickel family, but this book did feel quite meandering at times because of the slow-paced plot. In many ways, it’s a very realistic depiction of life because very little happens and Nomi just wanders around her town having casual encounters with people. I could see how that might lose some readers, but this book is definitely worth sticking it out for the emotional ending. I’ll never forget how this book broke my heart as I was sitting in the grocery store parking lot finishing the final few pages.

I loved how this book made me appreciate the importance of the family unit. Far too often, novels and movies seem to prioritize romantic love, but I appreciate how this novel centres family at the heart of the narrative. The Nickel family is dysfunctional but full of love. This novel explores whether that love can transcend the destabilizing impacts of the community’s fervent religious beliefs and by the tough choices made by each family member.

This was my first introduction to Miriam Toewes, and now I have some serious catching up to do :) ( )

Beautifully written. Though not YA, it would be great reading for 14 teens. Adults will recognize elements of their teenhood in the sharp observations of the protagonist. ( )

I'd give it six if I could ❤️ ( )

I was so impressed with the start of this book because it was so comical with exactly the type of sarcastic humour that I enjoy. However, it did go on too long and for no reason that I can discern. Her trips to Abe Hill and The Comb's trailer kept repeating themselves. I did feel for Nomi but got tired of the wanderings with no point. ( )

p 6 There is no deep end in this town's gene pool. She is brilliant ( )