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Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear

by Kim Brooks

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1343214,130 (3.58)2
One morning, Kim Brooks made a split-second decision to leave her four-year old son in the car while she ran into a store. What happened would consume the next several years of her life and spur her to investigate the broader role America's culture of fear plays in parenthood. In Small Animals , Brooks asks, Of all the emotions inherent in parenting, is there any more universal or profound than fear? Why have our notions of what it means to be a good parent changed so radically? In what ways do these changes impact the lives of parents, children, and the structure of society at large? And what, in the end, does the rise of fearful parenting tell us about ourselves? Fueled by urgency and the emotional intensity of Brooks's own story, Small Animals is a riveting examination of the ways our culture of competitive, anxious, and judgmental parenting has profoundly altered the experiences of parents and children.… (more)
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Small Animals resonated so deeply with me. She shared the story with what happened with her son but also researched and explored the broader topic of how fear has become such a big part of how we parent in today’s society. Are we afraid to let our kids go out and explore, walk alone to a friends house or play at a park because we think something will happen? Or are we afraid because we are told we should be, and we might also be afraid of the judgments we might receive if we do? And what happens when we don’t let kids make some decisions, navigate the tricky waters of childhood friendship, and build their own confidence of “I did this!” by figuring something out by trial and error. Brooks presented a fascinating discussion about this topic and I will be thinking about this for years to come.

I also appreciated that Brooks was able to look at this from her place of privilege and how much this could impact not only the reaction but the consequences of one's actions. Brooks walked us through her own story and also what played into her “lighter” sentence and I appreciated so much that she was able to have perspective about this and also share stories about other women who were not treated as humanely.

Another huge part of this book that I connected so much with what her discussion of postpartum anxiety. There is a lot of discussion about postpartum depression now and I am so happy that this is becoming something that is being “normalized” as it is something that affects many. There hasn’t been as much about postpartum anxiety and I don’t think I have ever read something that resonated so deeply for me. I suffered from crippling anxiety after the birth of our first son. Brooks shares so vividly and honestly about how the anxiety that began with her pregnancy spread and grew much stronger with the arrival of her son.
There were many other aspects of this book that I just thought was so thought-provoking and important not just as a working mother myself but as a member of our society. I highly recommend this book and think anyone who is a parent or spends time with children would benefit from reading it. ( )
  genthebookworm | Dec 19, 2020 |
A compellingly written memoir about just what it says on the tin: parenthood in the age of fear -- how cultural anxieties have changed expectations about parenting and children, and the effects that follow. Filled with shocking stories of governmental overreach and "concerned" busybodies, and the author's reluctant journey to shed (at least some of) these new, absurd requirements that children must be surveilled at all times. ( )
  libraryhead | Apr 2, 2019 |
I devoured this book in one day yesterday and kept waking up during the night thinking about it. Small Animals is part memoir and part sociological analysis. It’s an honest, well-researched look at how batshit crazy modern American parenting has become. The book starts when Kim Brooks decides it’s not worth the fight to get her son out of the car to run into _target for one thing so she leaves him in the car, locked, not too hot, happily occupied by a game on a tablet, for 5 minutes to grab headphones for a plane trip. He was fine and perfectly happy when she returned. Interspersed in the rest of the book are the two years following, when she gets home and finds someone had taken video of her son in the car and called the police.
The bulk of this book is a mixture of interviews and case studies, conversations, and her own thoughts about the fear drives modern parenting: Judgement, avoidance of judgement, Irrational and improbable what-if scenarios, competition, social pressures, class and race. Brooks does the research and takes the time to uncover why parents, and mothers in particular, are overwhelmed, frenetic, unhappy, and forced to parent as a competitive sport. The writing is easy and friendly, and doesn’t read like a textbook. I felt like it was a conversation with a friend and found myself identifying with nearly every chapter, like it was an echo of my own feelings and conversations with other moms. If you’re a parent you should read this book, it will change the way you think about raising your kids and what it’s doing to them, to you, to our society. 5/5 stars ⭐️

I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Goodreads giveaways in exchange for an honest review. ( )
  justjoshinreads | Mar 22, 2019 |
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Epigraph
You had a Dame that lov'd you well,

That did what could be done for young

And nurst you up tell you were strong

And 'fore she once would let you fly

She shew'd you joy and misery,

Taught what was good, and what was ill,

What would save life, and what would kill.

Thus gone, amongst you, I may live,

And dead, yet speak and counsel give.

Farewell, my birds, farewell, adieu,

I happy am, if well with you. -Anne Bradstreet, "In reference to her children, 23 June 1659"
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In his late sixtires, Herman Melville took a four-year-old granddaughter to the park and then forgot her there. -David Markson, Reader's Block
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Oh, honey, you're not the world's worst mother. What about that freezer lady in Georgia? -Homer Simpson
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In March of 2011, a person I didn't know, and would never meet, tried to have me arrested for what she viewed as criminally irresponsible parenting. -Author's Note
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It happened in the parking lot of a strip mall during the first week of March 2011, my last morning in Virgina, at the end of a visit with my parents. The day it happened was no different from any other: I was nervous and I was running late. -Chapter 1, The Day I Left My Son in the Car
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One morning, Kim Brooks made a split-second decision to leave her four-year old son in the car while she ran into a store. What happened would consume the next several years of her life and spur her to investigate the broader role America's culture of fear plays in parenthood. In Small Animals , Brooks asks, Of all the emotions inherent in parenting, is there any more universal or profound than fear? Why have our notions of what it means to be a good parent changed so radically? In what ways do these changes impact the lives of parents, children, and the structure of society at large? And what, in the end, does the rise of fearful parenting tell us about ourselves? Fueled by urgency and the emotional intensity of Brooks's own story, Small Animals is a riveting examination of the ways our culture of competitive, anxious, and judgmental parenting has profoundly altered the experiences of parents and children.

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